13) 'Can A School Make You Gay?' And Other Questions You Pretend You've...

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13) 'Can A School Make You Gay?' And Other Questions You Pretend You've Never Asked Yourself


How in seven hells was Benjamin going to talk about Important Things with Thijmen? He couldn't just ask such big things from him. He was incapable of making conversation, especially about serious stuff. People didn't just walk up to other people and ask them what their deepest and darkest secrets were, did they?

What exactly did Thijmen expect from Benjamin?!

It fazed Ben for all eternity. Well, it felt like forever anyways. It might have been some days in reality.

He still didn't know what Messiah was okay with, either. He never elaborated on it. He simply dropped that bomb and then refused to explain. It was driving Ben crazy, because the more Messiah evaded the question, the more curious he got.

The question was how Benjamin was going to get Messiah to explain. The only thing he could come up with was a threat. The worst threat anyone could ever think of.

"Messiah, if you don't tell me what you're okay with, I'm selling your Zelda t-shirt. The shirt with the autograph."

Messiah squinted at Benjamin. "You wouldn't."

"Don't underestimate me."

"Fine, I'll tell you. Don't touch my bloody shirt!"

"Not if you tell me."

"Okay, come over after school or something."

Benjamin wanted to ask why they needed to be at his house while they could simply talk about it at school, but the shirt was in Messiah's house, so he had just handed the blackmail right into Benjamin's hands.

Messiah also had one of those really nice chairs that Benjamin was always allowed to sit in and his mother had a gigantic stack of cookies in the kitchen cupboards. There really was no reason to say no.

So they went. The chair was as comfortable as ever. The multitude of cats went around rubbing themselves against Benjamin's leg as ever. On the bad side due to Messiah being vegan, once the snacks came around there was no milk for the tea. On the good side, he'd had coffee with milk the other day and Thijmen had called him a kid. Probably to tease him, but still. Benjamin took it pure and unsweetened like a macho, mature grown-up.

He twirled the chair around to face Messiah, who was casting anxious glances at his wardrobe. He put his fingers together and croaked out, "so... what am I okay with? Well... you're probably not gonna like this—"

A long sigh left Benjamin's lungs. "Just say it."

"I'm okay with... you know... you being... gay... for Thijmen."

"What."

"You like him, right?"

"What, no, I mean— no."

"Yes."

"No, I don't."

"You obviously do and I'm okay with it."

"Well, I'm not!"

Benjamin's cheeks were red. What the hell. Out of all possible things. It wasn't his fault his parents had shoved him into an all-boys school so he had a Brighter Future Ahead. It wasn't his fault the only woman in his life was his mom. He didn't know why he was so defensive, although it wasn't quite as much at the sudden remark about his sexuality as it was about him liking Thijmen.

Seriously.

"I'm not," he repeated, crossing his arms, "end of discussion."

Messiah gave him a look of sympathy.

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