I Kissed Her Scars

Chapter 7

I Kissed Her Scars

Chapter 7

I was so exhausted and tired. I couldn't sleep at all last night. I was sleeping in the uncomfortable chair next to Emma's bed at the hospital. She told me to leave and go home, but I couldn't leave her. I had to make sure she knew that somebody was always by her side. I only went home to snatch my brothers credit card do I could pay for her medical bill.

She looked so lifeless on the hospital bed. I wanted to see her eyes open, so I was sure that she was okay and alive. It made me tear up thinking that she might not make it. Even if the doctor told me he was certain she was gonna make it, just the thought of her dying scared me.

I know you may be thinking I'm in love with Emma or something, but I'm not, okay??? I'm not. She's simply my friend who I really care about and would never want to leave me. I had no feelings for her whatsoever... Did I???

"Connor? You're still here?" Emma asked as she woke up.

"Omigosh," I said, almost jumping outta the chair, "You scared me. But I'm glad you're awake and okay."

She smiled at me. Her warming smile that filled the room with happiness once again.

"The doctor told me to call him as soon as you woke up," I said to her.

"Oh... Alright," she said.

I was about to press the button on the wall to call the doctor into the room but she interrupted me.

"Sanders?"

"Yea?"

"Why did you agree to pay my medical bills??? My dad can pay them, I can even pay them if I get a job."

"No Emma, if I let your dad pay for you, he would hold it against you forever for making him spend money on these bills. And he'd treat you even worse than he already does right now. Or he wouldn't pay them at all and wouldn't bring you to the hospital... You'd be dead by now."

"Maybe I wanna be dead."

"Maybe I want you to stop wanting to be dead. Because if you died... I dunno what I would do..."

"What do you mean?"

I grabbed her hand and looked into her eyes.

"I mean, that you are my best friend. And I couldn't go on in this world without you."

The doctor opened the door interrupting our little moment.

"Ahh... I see that someone forgot to press the button..." he said to me.

"Oh, I was gonna but--"

"I understand, quality time with your girlfriend is what it is."

"He's not my boyfriend," she said.

"Alright alright," the doctor said, putting his hands up innocently.

"So... Is she alright?" I asked him.

"Yes, but you see, the pills have affected her body a bit since they were in there for about an hour before we treated her. To be on the safe side, she must to everything she can to stay healthy, and not to anything that is harmful to her."

"What would be harmful to her?"

"Well... No smoking, no overdose of drugs... Anything that harms her body is something she can't do."

Her eyes widened.

"Thank you doctor," I said to him.

"When you are done, she can leave," he said, closing the door.

I looked at her.

"Emma..." I said.

"Yes?" she asked.

"I know that you smoke and do drugs. But could you please stop? It could be extremely dangerous for you."

I hope I didn't bring up such a touchy subject with her. I just cared about her well being.

"Connor, if I could, I would've a long time ago. But I can't stop."

"Why???"

"Connor... I'm a drug addict..."

"Yes... I know... But you know they're no good for you. They don't do any good for you at all."

"I know, but I can't stop. I just can't."

"You haven't even tried!!! It was stupid of you to even take drugs in the first place!!!"

"Connor!!! I take them to relive my stress and misery!!!!"

"Ugh!!! You're just like my mother!!!"

"What, what is wrong with being just like your mother???"

"SHE WAS A DRUG ADDICT JUST LIKE YOU!!!" I shouted, starting to get teary eyed. My mom was a very touchy subject for me to talk about.

"Connor, your mother--"

"SHE DIDN'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE!!! JUST HERSELF!!! WHICH IS WHY SHE TOOK THOSE DRUGS!!!"

"Connor!!! You seriously think that's the reason she took those drugs???Because she didn't care about anyone???"

"Ohhh... I don't think... I know!!! Gosh Emma, if you're gonna keep taking those drugs, you're gonna end up dead and letting everyone in her life down, just like my mom!!!"

"I take these drugs cuz I'm depressed!!!! I don't plan on ruining everyone's life, it was people ruining my life that made me take those, understand??? I was told it would make me happier. I was told it would make me un-depressed again. And it did. That's why I take them."

I took a moment to absorb that information. Maybe she was like my mother. My mother had my brother at 18. She probably took those drugs because she was stressed with all she had to deal with with my brother. If what I thought of my mother was wrong... Maybe all the views we have on druggies and smokers are wrong. They are probably depressed people who were tricked into taking drugs so that they could cope through all their misery.

"Emma, I'm sorry."

"It's alright. So... You understand why I did what I did?"

"Yes, I understand. But I don't think you need them anymore."

"And why is that?"

"You took them because you thought they were the only things that could get you through your depression. But you have something else now."

"And what is that?"

"Me."