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Dear Diary,

Tonight has been a crazy night.  Dr. Green kissed me...for real kissed me right on the mouth!  I felt like a fish out of water, I couldn't breathe, my mouth kept opening and shutting chasing his.  I know I was horrible at it, but it was amazing. 

It was completely unexpected.  He was teasing me on the way to his condo and I kept giggling.  He kept saying to stop or he was going to cure them for me.  This just made me giggle more.  We got back to his place and we walked inside, and in true Sang fashion the giggles started again.  The next thing I know he was walking up to me, I stepped back but had nowhere to go.  My back was up against the door, he was staring at me with a look I have never seen.  Then it happened his lips were on top of mine,  they were soft and gentle.  He was so sweet my stomach kept doing flip flops, my knees were shaking.  I could not have asked for a better first kiss! I

I am actually spending the night with him tonight. This will be the first time I have ever stayed with Sean.  To say I was scared is an understatement, I don't know what to think.  I was fine until he kissed me, now I am freaking out.  Will he want to kiss me again?  Do I want to kiss him again? Yes, I definitely want to kiss him again! Ahhh... what am I gonna do???

I can't believe I actually got my first kiss tonight.  What does this mean? Am I dating Dr. Sean now?  Did the kiss mean anything to him?  Or was he really only trying to get me to stop laughing? How am I going to face everyone tomorrow?  Will they be able to tell? Will Gabriel and the others be mad at me when they find out?  What will Mr. Blackbourne say?  Oh man he is going to be so mad. I hope Dr. Sean doesn't get into to much trouble, I know they have some dumb rule about kissing.

I wish I could call meanie, but I know that would insensitive of me.  I get the feeling that he likes me more than a best friend.  The scary thing is I think I like him more too.  Several times he and I have been hanging out and I get this feeling that he is going to kiss me.  But he never does, maybe he doesn't like me that way after all.

It's times like this when I wish I had a sister I could talk to😢.  But Marie would just tell me I was a whore and try to get me into trouble with our Mother.  Maybe she is right.  I kinda have feelings for the whole family. I really wish I knew why she hates me so much?  I have tired and tried to think of one thing that I ever did to make her hate me, and I come up with nothing.  I will never tell the guys this , but it is killing me inside.  All I have ever wanted is for Marie to like me and to be my friend. Marie and I used to be the best of friends and now I am enemy #1.  I wonder how long before Kota and the others hate me too.

Well way to go Sang! Now you have yourself all depressed and feeling sorry for yourself.  Snap out of it!  Today was a good day, better than good.  Today was a great I got kissed by Dr. Green.  OMG!!!

Well I guess I will say goodnight now I hear Sean coming up the stairs 😶.  Wish me luck. I am going to need it.


💜 Me

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