(Warnings: satire heck, joking all over the place, murderer pov, kidnapping, going for a walk, mulligan is catching on)
We arrived back home to my apartment from D.C. after various other festivities than the dinner. There was a tour of the city, press conference, everything. Alexander was on the news and everything. He loved it. I stood in the background and screamed internally.
Now that we were back, my parents knew we were getting married. They flipped out happily. Jodie grinned and I showed her the ring. She had asked if she could be the maid of honor. Adorable.
"I'll be the flower boy." Mulligan said, beer in hand.
"Wait, what?" Bf/n laughed.
"Yeah, funny story, Mulligan was actually the flower boy at my wedding when I married Eliza." Hamilton chortled.
"Are you kidding me, that's hilarious." F/n giggled.
Bf/n suddenly got up. "I need to take a call... Excuse me." He ran his fingers through my hair and took his phone from his pocket. He walked to my- our room, I guess.
I looked at the tv to see the news playing. Trump was being interviewed about the aftermath of our visit. The instant he was asked about being dissed by Thomas, he looked at the camera and looked so fucking dead inside. Jefferson flipped the tv off, making James grab his fist and scold him. "Thomas, that's derogatory."
"Shh, I know."
Jodie coughed and said "I ship it" under her breath.
Washington was eating a bowl of soup, Washy on his lap. I decided to keep his name the same, and the dog just adored who was inside his mind just days before. Washington was almost too big for the chair, but Washy was curled up right next to his legs. "Its scalding hot."
"Then cool it down, sir." Laurens said.
"Get an ice cube."
"You have ice?"
He still has so much to learn too.
Burr seemed to be bonding well with his former friend Alexander again. Alexander and him were by the window, drinking and talking privately. I'm glad they could get their differences sorted out without shooting guns.
Lafayette was next to me, reading an English dictionary I had to help him understand some slang. Mulligan was reading with him. They both wanted to get more slang. Once again, oh my god, goddammit.
"Wait, what does this word mean?" Lafayette asked, pointing to it.
Mulligan squinted and read, "Taradiddle? It means, pretentious nonsense."
Alexander called over, "Is Thomas in the synonym list?"
Thomas laughed, "Wow, thanks...Well, its true."
I realized it had been ten minutes and Bf/n hadn't come back. I stood up and walked over to the room. He hung up and was pulling at his shirt.
"Oh, hey..." he said, "I need you to go on a drive with me."
"Uh, why?" I asked, complying and tying my shoes. I really didn't care where we were going.
"We're going to a very special place to me... Let me...right something down real quick, and I'll meet you by the door." He smiled at me, and I nodded. I walked out and grabbed my coat.
"Where you going?" Laurens asked from the kitchen, Jodie on his shoulders as she reached on the top shelf for a bowl.
"Out with Bf/n... He's just doing something." I said, smiling as George Washington just grabbed the bowl for the two of them. "Here, you don't need to sit on his back."
"Aw, it's fun, though!" Jodie said.
Bf/n came out with a piece of lined paper, folded up with some weird reddish tint to it. He handed it to Lafayette. And leaned into whisper something to him, a small smile on his face.
He then walked towards me and we made our exit. We got into his car.
He began to drive into the darkened Lincoln tunnel.
"Where are we going?" I asked, a little unnerved by the dim underwater pass.
"You'll see..." he had his eyes fixed in front of him.
What was up with him?
"Open this after ten minutes?" I wondered. Why wait? It's only been five, but I unfolded the paper.
Written in blood?
My heart sank and eyes widened.
Come to Weehawkin before dawn because Y/n won't be alive too long : )
-Bf/n aka "The Midtown Cannibal"
"What's it say, Laf?" Alexander asked me, seeing my expression.
He ran over as I shook my head, reading he note. "Wait...what? Weekawkin?
F/n snatched the paper from his grasp as the name of the dueling ground caught Burr's attention. "Fuck! I should have arrested that little shit before Washington! I had all the fucking evidence!"
As everyone now focused on them, they began to explain what happened. "Bf/n, yes...our Bf/n is the Midtown Cannibal, and he just took Y/n to some undisclosed location in Weehawkin New Jersey! And he's going to kill her!"
Jodie began to cry in fear. "Bf/n...is going to kill her...?"
I stood up and charged to the door. "We need to get her back, and we need to leave now... F/n, get your allies in on this..."
I opened the door only to have a gun shoved into my face.
"Did you really think Bf/n would make it easy for you to find Y/n?"
Oh joy the moment has finally arrived! I was so excited, I couldn't hold back a smile. I pulled up to our destination. I got out, and she followed me. I lead her to a plaque and a bust statue.
"Uh, babe, why are we here at... Hamilton and Burr's dueling sight?" She questioned.
I grabbed the cloth of chloroform in my pocket and watched as she stepped forward to read the sign. I covered her face with it.
"WH-!?!?" She began to get weaker...
God, I love my occupation! Goodnight sweet princess..
YOU ARE READING
How Weird Is This? (A Hamilton Reader Insert Fanfiction)(COMPLETED)Fanfiction
Your name is Y/N L/N and you have literally just crossdressed... You found a weird box in your floor while changing them out and decided to open it and well.... A portal opened to revolutionary America... You can only hope the people you meet will...