Beautiful Madness (Aravella Serene) UNDER REVISION

Chapter 2: Cold

I grew up believing that family knows best. All my life, I let them maneuvered my life like they are the captain of my ship. They navigated the wheel wherever they want to, without asking me if I want to go to the same place. But I didn't take it badly, and instead, I'm even thankful because my life is in such peace. No storm, no big waves. But like a real captain, I couldn't help but seek for storms amd hurricanes to test my skills. Masyado akong kampante sa katahimikan na hindi ko alam kung sa oras ba ng totoong sakuna, kaya kong makaligtas.

"Ano bang kukunin mo, hija? Hindi ba't magkokolehiyo ka na? At rinig ko'y papasok ka na sa isang unibersidad." tanong ng isang matandang kasosyo ng Daddy sa negosyo.

It's one of those social events again, where my presence is needed for display. An accessories to the respected gentlemen of the country.

"Opo, Mr. Reyes. I'm still undecided whether Business or Naval Architecture. Tinitimbang ko pa po kasi kung ano ang mas makakatulong sa emperyo." matamis ang ngiti na sagot ko.

Dad smiled proudly with my answer. He looks contented so I think I'm doing right. Sumimsim ako sa hawak na wine at sinuyod ng tingin ang function hall. Everyone is drowned on their own world.

"Really? That's amazing, hija! Kahit anong piliin mo ay walang problema. You're so brilliant with your choices. I hope my daugher was like you."

That was my family's fetish. To hear a mother or a father, wishing their daughter was like me. It was a beautiful sound to their ears. Me, as a living insecurity of every daughters.

"Ang gusto ko nga ay Architecture dahil nariyan naman ang Kuya niya. Astov took Business and when the right time comes, he's one of our candidate to be the next head of the empire. Aravella can be a helping hand if she have proper knowledge with our ships." si Daddy.

Manghang napangiti si Mr. Reyes sa akin. He looks so amused like I've grown wings on my back.

"Your daughter is very talented, Artin. I was expecting that she would pursue music after winning the National recital last year pero tama nga ang asawa ko, kahit anong piliin ng anak mo ay siguradong mamamayagpag." si Mrs. Reyes.

I smiled with her compliments but deep inside, bitterness started to creep inside my system. Sumimsim muli ako sa aking wine glass, umaasang kasamang dadaloy pababa ang pait na nararamdaman.

"Oh, no, no. Music is just her past time, Liz. I won't let her waste her life for pursuing a shallow career when she's meant for bigger things."

Shallow. They call my love for playing classic instruments shallow. Hindi iilang beses na akong napagsabihan ng kung sino man myembro ng aking pamilya kung gaano kababaw ang hilig ko. When in the first place, it was them who introduced me to it. Sino bang pumilit sa akin noon humawak ng instrumento? Hindi ba't sila? And when I started joining in various competition, they changed their mind and call it platonic because they believe competing is cheap for someone who's on the said pinnacle.

"But I hope you won't stop playing, hija. You're so good at it. You once performed for the ASEAN Summit, right? Proud na proud ang Lolo mo sa'yo nang mga panahon 'yon."

"Na, I don't think so. Architecture is not easy as one, two, three. She will be busy with her studies, she have no time for other things." sagot ni Dad para sa akin.

Tahimik lamang ako at pangiti-ngiti. Mrs. Reyes gazes at me with pity on her eyes kaya mas nilawakan ko pa ang ngiti.

"It's true, Ma'am. I have a lot of hobbies anyway." alu ko, nalulunod na sa mga sariling isipin.

Come to think of it, I really have no plans of pursuing music. When I finished my senior high and I was told that I'm finally going to attend actual class, I have no complete idea what to take. Hindi ko na inisip dahil alam ko naman hindi ako ang magdedesisyon sa parteng 'yan. Pero naisip ko, choosing my own career should weight upon me. Ako dapat ang nagdedesisyon sa parteng ito ng buhay ko pero hindi ko na isinatinig ang opinyon ko. I believe they know what's best for me so I should trust them.