Chapter 11

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I wasn't strong.

I wasn't anything when I was around Kerrick except for a lingering shadow.

Since the day I had married him, all I had been capable of doing was cowering and shying away from him whenever he was around. On multiple occasions I had tried to understand him and his strange ways but my strength was always lost under his scrutinizing gaze. With each day that passed it seemed like I wasn't any closer to unraveling him as the day we'd first met and it was tiring because we were living like two strangers under the same roof.

I stared over at Kerrick as I watched him meticulously put his things together for work before sighing as he gazed at me for a brief moment before going back to what he was doing.

I didn't know why, but it made me heartbroken to know I couldn't do anything to garner his attention. He didn't seem to care about me in anyway and as far as I could see, I had no effect in his life.

I had given up so much for him, gone through so much and suffered a lot during our week of marriage but nothing had changed between us since the day we first met.

We were still strangers.

It was so difficult and almost impossible to talk to him and most of the time I had to be scurrying out of his way as to not be caught under his suffocating gaze.

I had no power whenever I was around him and he could easily shut me down, even without using words.

I didn't resent him and I didn't want to because I knew a lot of time hadn't passed between us since we were together but at the rate everything was going, it didn't seem like anything was going to change anytime soon.

I drew my gaze away from him and began clearing the table where we had just eaten but I couldn't help cringing under the familiar stillness of the room.

As soon as I went to the kitchen and came back, I realized Kerrick was gone and as usual without notifying me.

I went over and sat on the coach in the next room as nostalgia filled me because of how much I missed home.

My father had always given me a goodbye whenever he went out alone and I would always be there to wish him a safe journey until his return home because I knew I was always in his thoughts.

Kerrick didn't care about me that way.

I was fine with that because we didn't really know each other but at the same time we had still shared the same bed and for all I had done for him I knew I deserved respect.

I sighed deeply as I looked around the room before noticing something on the floor. In an almost instance the door flew open and Kerrick hurried inside and started looking for something.

I quietly went over and picked up the document off the floor before turning to him, his eyes were not focusing on me but I could still feel the weight of them.

"I think I've found what you're looking for."

My breathed hitched when his eyes met mine causing my airways to feel like they were closing up. I internally cursed myself for being so weak but I maintained my composure. He took it from me and walked back to the door before I drew a sigh of relief that he hadn't snapped at me.

As soon as I thought he would leave again, he turned back and approached me, my heart racing sporadically as he closed the distance between us.

I almost backed away when I realized how closely he stood in front of me, my eyes drifting to the floor because of how terrified I felt to look at him.

My eyes shot back up to him though as he placed a kiss against my lips before backing away.

"Goodbye."

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