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The fear of never being good enough.

This fear is something I think about every night. This IS what keeps me up at night. This is what causes the dark circle under my eyes....

And this is a fear I've had since elementary school....crazy right? Even when I was young, I couldn't sleep until it was about 4 to 5 o'clock. It has never stopped.

But now I have a different worry. A worry that has caused my attention to be diverted from this fear.

What if Jungkook has seen my cuts? What if someone did notice it, but they just ignored it? As I was racking my head with all these thoughts.... I didn't take my medication.

I cant even afford it anymore....

I wonder what's going to happen if I just suddenly stop taking such a big amount of dosage of medication. The bipolar medication, the ADHD medication, then the insomnia medication.
But it's not like they really help anyway.

So, what are the effects of stopping abruptly?

Quickly glancing at the clock, I cursed, realizing how late it was. Running towards the school, while my earbuds were in my ears, pumping out loud music.

It was the vocaloid, the Lost One's Weeping. For those who know this song, I applaud them.

Suddenly halting, I reach the enormously large pink school. Dashing through the halls, I heard the bells ring...

Oh well, I'm late....might as well ditch. I just went to the rose garden, continuing to listen to the music that heals me.

And I dozed off, trying to restore my energy for the day.


Ditching. My second favorite thing to do.

I went to the garden maze, trying to relax my mind...when I saw a shoe....connected to a body....connected to the head of our happy host.

He was sleeping causing a chain of events of me sleeping.

Hesitating, racking my mind if I should sleep next to him or not...might as well. It's not going to hurt anyone...unless I wack him, nah, I'll be too lazy to wack someone in general.


I woke up, noticing the battery from my MP3 player has disappeared. And there was this warmth around me.....looking around, my face was very very close to Yoongi's face.

A small tint of pink spread across my face, but then I controlled my emotions, and tried to wake him up.

Shaking him a little, he just groaned....but we probably needed to get to music room 3. I even whispered in his ear, yet he stayed half awake.

Getting pissed, I just picked him up bridal style, and brought him with me. Am I just strong, or is he light?

When we arrived the door to the club room, all eyes were on us....every girl's eyes were shining....kind of just cooing at this sight.

I inwardly rolled my eyes, trying to hide my blush. Gently laying him down on one of the couches, Namjoon announced that we were going to play the pocky game.

But the girls would have to pay extra. Of course.


I was secretly hoping I could play the pocky game with Hoseok but then I cursed out profanities....I would have to do it with Jin....cause we're dating.

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