chapter thirty-three

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"Do you think he's going to hit me?"

Harry stared at me.

"Have you lost your mind? Why would he hit you?"

"He went to hit Jesse as soon as he found out he had kissed me. Just imagine what he'll do when I tell him the girls and I planned to break his heart on purpose."

"So you're actually going to go through with it?"

"I don't know. I mean I don't think I can. But whether I do it or not, I still have to tell him at some point. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I were in a relationship with him without him knowing. Not that he's going to want to still be in a relationship once he finds out."

"I don't think so either." Harry said and I wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not that he was so honest. "But he's not going to hit you. Be realistic."

"Harry, he's in love with me."

"Took you long enough to realise it." He muttered, rolling his eyes.

"No, he told me, just half an hour ago. And I don't think he's ever been in love before. Oh my god, he's going to be so fucking sad and it will be my fault."

"Wait, you figured it out just now? Sam, where have you been these past months, or weeks? Did you finally realise that this is gonna ruin him?"

I felt a lump in my throat.

"What am I supposed to do? I have to tell him."

"You do." He nodded. "But not tonight. It's been too many confessions for one night; the whole Jesse thing, the 'I love you' confession. Going downstairs and tell him you've been keeping a huge secret from him all this time... I mean do you have a death wish?"

I looked back to the desk and picked up the song he seemed to be helping Harry write.

"If I could fly, I'd be coming right back home to you. I think I might give up everything, just ask me to. Pay attention, I hope that you listen, 'cause I let my guard down. Right now I'm completely defenceless." I read out loud.

Harry walked over to me.

"Niall came up with the last part." He said, pointing at the paper.

Pay attention, I hope that you listen, 'cause I let my guard down. Right now I'm completely defenceless

I skimmed through the lyrics and read one sentence twice.

"For when you're lonely, and forget who you are..." I mumbled.

"I don't think you need a scientist to figure out who it might be about, do you?" He muttered and looked down at the other papers. He picked up the one called "Little Black Dress" that Niall and Louis seemed to be writing together.

"I think this one is about you." He said.


"Because you wore a black dress that one time we went to the club. Isn't that the first time you and Niall kissed as well?"

"How do you even know all these things?" I laughed.

"Guys talk." He said with a grin.

"What about this one? Alive?" I said, looking up at him.

"Lemme see."

He took the paper from my hands and mumbled the words.

"I think this is an old song." He eventually said, giving back the paper. "See? 'I don't know why I wanna be with every girl I meet. I can't control it, yeah I know it's taking over me. I'm going crazy, can't contain it, so tell me just what I should do.' It can't be about you."

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