Shutter [Jonathan Byers] Stranger Things I

XXIV: Reproach

re·proach

verb

address (someone) in such a way as to express disapproval or disappointment.

With groaning hinges alerting students of her arrival, Emilia pushed open the double doors at the side of the building and walked down the halls with her head high. Every other day of her high school experience, Emilia had her books in front of her, head down, hair hiding her peripheral vision so that she could not see anyone looking at her or talking about her. She'd normally have her backpack slung over her shoulder, feeling the weight of it digging into the tendons and causing her neck to be sore. With her bag and books in Jonathan's car, she walked in with nothing weighing her down, not even her own thoughts.

Spotting the group of people, the very group she had come to talk to, she didn't feel any part of her waver. The confidence surging through her that came with admitting the truth of her troubles to Jonathan did not dwindle. Not even as Carol's eyes pieced through her like needles, and Tommy's smug grin filled the air with his cockiness. Steve had an eyebrow raised high, it was almost comical had this been a situation worth laughing at. Nancy hugged her books to her chest, thin arms looking weighed down by only two text books. Beside Nancy, about a foot to the left of her, was Barb. She stood taller than everyone, and she had a half smile as if she knew what Emilia was up to, and that she was approving of it.

In the car, Jonathan tapped his fingers nervously on the steering wheel. Emilia had told him that she needed to grab something from her locker, but he had known right away it was a lie. To call her out on it would be hurtful, though, because he knew that she was only doing what she needed to. But it still didn't sit right with Jonathan that he wait in the car like a child or a pet while she finally overcame her issues. He wanted to be there next to her, to support her, to stand by her like he should. She was his girlfriend, he thought, and that left him stuck between a rock and a hard place. Listening to her by staying behind in the car was one thing, and the other was defending her should she get herself into more than she could handle.

He ran his hands through his hair and then got out of the car. Striding through the parking lot, his long legs covering a fair amount of ground, he felt his heart hammer in his chest as he reached the side doors of the school and yanked open the door. He didn't have to go far to see Emilia, looking tiny compared to Barb, Steve and Tommy. Even Nancy was taller than her, though much thinner. Carol was short, but she had bite. Jonathan got there right in time for Emilia to begin speaking from her heart.

"I want to thank you, Tommy," Emilia said in a reproachful, a serene look on her face, blue eyes locked on his.

"Oh man, here we go," he rolled his eyes, and in the distance Jonathan curled his hands into fists. He was still few meters away, and no one had even noticed him yet.

Barb stood with her hands in her pockets, but she was keenly focused on Emilia.

Jonathan wasn't entirely shocked that it was Tommy whom Emilia was referring to in her anecdote. However, he felt a dark emotion within him stir as he looked at the male across the hallway. It was Tommy who hurt Emilia, who made her insecure about her scars, who did things to her that she didn't want; Jonathan held back the urge to cross the distance between them and punch him square in the face before Emilia even had a chance to say what needed to be said. He held back because he knew that it was hers to overcome, hers to face.

"Tommy, you helped bring me to the lowest point in my life when I didn't think it could go any lower," she began, a strength to her voice that was so evident, that not even Carol dared cut her off. They let her say her piece, in peace. "For years you've been relentless when it comes to picking on me, and I get it, I am the perfect victim. And for years I let myself believe that your words were right, that I was gross and pathetic. For years I was pathetic. But you can't reach your highest potential until you've been at your lowest, and you brought me there. You and Carol both, you've been breaking me down until I felt like I was nothing. But now I understand, I'm not nothing, I'm strong enough to get through every day with the taste of your meanness on my tongue. It doesn't matter anymore, though, because with a little help I've realized that you're below even me. To belittle someone for how they look, or the pain they go through every single day, that's the lowest someone can drop."

Nancy's mouth was agape, Barb still had a smile on her face only it was bigger now.

Emilia continued, "So thank you, Tommy, I appreciate the cruelness you've shown me over the time since we had sex. Carol, I'm sorry you feel jealous that he slept with me before he did you; I understand your insecurities because I have them too. Nancy, you seem like a good person, and I hope you're going to make choices that you know are right for you, something I never did. Barb, I don't really know you, but you've always been a nice person."

When Emilia Roth turned around, the words still hanging so thick in the air that no one could even speak, she had nothing in her eyes except strength. Overcoming her deepest fears, all of them over the course of a few days, took too many years. But she'd finally gotten there, she'd finally pushed that sadness from her eyes and Jonathan watched as she strode confidently towards him, a smile plastered on her expression and the smile even reached her eyes. He realized in that very moment that it wasn't up to him to make her happy, to get rid of the sadness in her eyes; it was always up to her. He always thought somehow he could fix her, but she needed to fix herself. All he had done was give her the boost, the little shove to push her to that point.

She reached where he was standing, stock-still in the hallway, and got up on her tip-toes. Planting her lips upon his, she felt her own strength surge through her and into him; neither of them had ever been the boldest people in Hawkins, but in that moment with their lips locked, they felt as though they were. Breaking apart, knowing that five pairs of eyes were still on them, they smiled at one another, and then left the school. The doors clattered loudly behind them, and the brisk October air chilled them, but did nothing to dilute how they were feeling.

"I can't believe I just did that!" Emilia was smiling so brightly, "Jonathan, I did it!"

"I'm so proud of you," he said truthfully.

"I'm proud of me," she looked up at the sky, spread her arms and spun. "I feel a thousand pounds lighter."

She was so beautiful when she smiled like that. 

I'll be getting into the show story line shortly, now that I've gotten Emilia over her own personal troubles. I wanted her to be completely changed from the Emilia we see at the beginning of the story before Jonathan loses Will. 

So question of the day, have I accomplished that?