Because I Know There's No Life After You ♥Tom Felton♥

29) My Sacrifice

Inspired Song: My Sacrifice by: Creed 

Chapter Twenty Nine- My Sacrifice

Its October. The coldness has returned and the leaves slowly fall to the earth; drifting through the wind.

 I'm comfortable, or at least as comfortable as I can be with being seven months pregnant. My hair is braided to the side as I sit in a room, on a bed that has been my friend for months. Though the braid isn't a product of my boring life as of late; it has been weaved by my lovely mother-in-law.

 Before my third tri mister I had flown back over the ocean to home. I couldn't stay at the house though, trying to fend for myself, it wasn't a possibility when they had said that I should stay on bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy unless my vitals suddenly get better. You see, my stomach should be a lot bigger than it is for being seven months pregnant. Whether this condition is because my body type is just small, or if something is wrong we won't know until the life has come out of me.

 So I now reside in my in-laws house. Julia was more than welcome to take care of me in my fragile state. She cared for me, with almost every waking moment, and I realize that it must get lonely for her. She, having been a housewife her entire life, not needing to clean up after anyone, after raising four boys. The emptiness in her daily schedule has been filled with me now, at least until these next two months are over.

 I usually spend my time dwelling on what my life has become, and what it will be like to be a mother; but I do have interruptions on occasion. Tom comes home as much as he can, after his birthday his visits have come less often, Julia is almost a constant face, one I wake up to and one I see the entire day, and I do see James quite a bit.

 I enjoy it when James comes to visit me, or rather his mother; I am just a plus in this situation. He sits with me and makes me laugh with old family stories and other things that have graced his life. He gives me comfort without intending to; he is there and distracts me from my life which has never been the same since I have not seen the last Harry Potter film.

 I know it seems silly to fall into a depression state from just not being able to see the film, but it's something more than that. Not being able to see it is just the first thing that I will have to sacrifice for this new life, and it terrifies me to think about what else I will.

 I don't see the cast anymore, and I have rarely talked to them at all. They live their lives and I live mine. I've just grown so attached to Dan's happiness, Emma's gossips, and Rupert just being another brother figure. It's like, without meaning to, they have protected me from the reality of what my life was to always be and given me a life most only dream about.

 "So, I can be home as early as next week hopefully" Tom says sitting beside me on the bed, brushing my hair away from my face.

 "Hmm" I say not at all interested in this information. It means little to me, because I've lost the will to trust the words anymore. It's not that Tom's lying, just that things pop up and it's never what it means to be anymore.

 He sighs next to me, and I wish I could give him some comfort. With my thoughts controlling my life, I haven't been the most fun person to be around. We don't talk about the person growing inside me much and I don't know why. Ever since we decided that we didn't want to know the gender of the baby, it just doesn't come up in our discussions. Maybe it's just because of the way I'm acting about the whole ordeal, or maybe it's something more.

 "Will you be here for the next appointment?" I whisper to him brushing the back of his hand lightly with my finger tips.

 "Definitely" He promises. I nod, he knows that I hate going alone especially with the complications I've already had so far.