Chapter 38

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Almost a week had passed and Connie hadn't seen Sam at all. She was sitting in her office at her desk as she continued with her paperwork. The door opened as Elliot came inside and took a seat behind his own desk. "Morning, didn't expect to see you here so early-" "I've got a presentation to prepare for next week." Elliot nodded as he turned his attention back to his own work. "Is Mr Strachan out there yet?" He looked up to Connie who was watching him expectedly. "You haven't heard, have you?"

The shift continued to pass slowly everyone worked hard to cover the shortages they had at the moment. As the day rolled on, Connie slipped away from the department for a few minutes. Standing out in the stairwell she wandered down a few flights before standing before the windows.

Taking her phone out she leant against the wall dialling his number. "You've reached Sam's phone, leave a message and I'll give you a call back." Sighing she kept her eyes on the window. "Sam, it's me... I-" She sighed again as she held onto the railings in front of her. "I just wanted to know you're okay. Call me, please." Ending the call she turned around upon hearing the doors to the ward opening above her. "Mrs Beauchamp?" "Yep..."

Working through the shift seemed almost impossible, her mind elsewhere and it didn't go unnoticed by the staff around her. Elliot approached her as she stood beside the reception desk, leaning forwards reading a set of notes. Leaning back against it he spoke in hushed tones to her. "Why don't you go and see him?"

Connie lifted her eyes to him frowning at first as she tried to deny what he was implying but a single look from Elliot caused her façade to crumble. "Go and see him." Elliot closed the file before her as he nodded. Connie walked away from the desk and into her office grabbing her coat and bag before leaving the department in a hurry.

She drove in the direction of his flat. Parking outside she had no idea what she was expecting to say now that she was here. Would he even want to see her? Sighing she got out of the car knowing she had to at least try.

Sam sat on the sofa, his thumb running over the scan photo as the flat remained silent. The knocking at the door pulled his attention up as he groaned, lifting himself from the sofa. He didn't particularly want to see anyone right now, nor did he care for having unnecessary conversations with someone about how he was feeling.

Pulling the door open he was surprised to see Connie standing there. "Con?" She stood unsure of what to say as she looked at him. "Come in, umm, Emma's not here at the moment." She nodded stepping inside as he shut the door before traipsing back through the flat to where he had been sat before.

Sinking down onto the sofa Connie looked to the many empty bottles in the kitchen. "Drinking your life away isn't going to help anyone you know..." He scoffed picking up the image from the table again. Moving forwards Connie sat down beside him not moving her eyes from him. "Guess the hospitals buzzing with gossip-" "No, no... Elliot told me when I asked if you'd bothered turning up today."

He couldn't help the flash of a smile before it faded almost instantly. "When did it happen?" Sam took a deep breath trying to hold back his emotions as he kept his eyes down on the photo. "Last Monday... She's staying with her sister, we haven't stopped arguing since-" "Sam why didn't you call me?"

She watched as the tears fell as he shrugged looking over at her. "And tell you what Con? That the one chance I had at some happiness was gone? That she lost the baby-" "I don't care what you tell me as long as you talk to me." She moved a hand to his thigh as he shook his head. "This isn't your problem-" "No but I'm a friend Sam. I thought you'd know you could talk to me."

She reached forwards taking hold of his hand forcing him to look to her. "It's gone... Their gone... It's over Connie-" Moving closer she wrapped her arms around him as he fell into her, his cries something she had never heard before. Each second that passed did something to her, seeing him in such a way was something she never imagined having to witness.

She wasn't sure how much time passed as she stayed with him. They had moved so that Sam was leant against the sofa as Connie curled into his side. Her hand lay to his chest as she listened to his breathing gradually slow. Lifting her head carefully she watched him sleeping, his arm around her waist.

Sitting forwards she picked up the scan picture releasing a small breath as she ran a finger across the image. Glancing back at Sam she got up carefully and moved into his kitchen. She began to tidy away the bottles that he had left across the place before moving through to the bedroom.

It was clear he hadn't been in here for some time, the bed was made and hadn't been slept in for a while. Wandering into the bathroom she ran the hot water beginning to fill up the bath. Stopping beside the sink, she looked up into the mirror running a hand back through her hair. If only this had worked out for him, maybe he could have finally been happy.

Turning off the water she heard his voice calling out for her from the other room with uncertainty, as though he wasn't sure if he'd imagined her being there. "Hey..." Sam looked across to her from the kitchen as he looked around. "You cleaned?" "It was a mess." She laughed gently before stepping up to him, placing a hand to his arm.

"Go and have a bath, relax." Shaking his head he opened his mouth to speak before she interrupted him, reading his thoughts. "I'll still be here." He held onto her hand firmly before stepping closer, enveloping her into a hug. She released a breath as she wrapped her arms around him.

Connie watched him traipse away before wandering into the living room taking a seat. She switched the TV on quietly so as to not disrupt him in the other room. Leaning back on the sofa she pulled her phone out reading a few emails before calling Greg.

Sam lay in the hot water staring up at the ceiling before lifting a handful of water over his face. He couldn't deny the loss he felt at losing this baby, but there was a small part of him that knew he hadn't been ready for this. To become a father, no matter how much he had began to come round to the idea. Maybe if his and Emma's relationship was different then it would have worked out, but it was no way to bring up a child.

Finishing up he got himself out and found some fresh clothes from the bedroom. Wandering along the corridor of the flat he heard Connie speaking on the phone. "I'm going to stay back and get this presentation finished for next week... Give us the weekend together. Okay, I'll speak to you later... Bye." Ending the call her eyes were dropped to her phone as Sam re-appeared.

"Presentation hmm?" Her eyes lifted to him as he wandered back into the room. "It's okay, I appreciate you not saying you were babysitting a fully grown man." "Sam, shut up." He stepped closer to the sofa sitting beside her once again. "Feel any better?" "No... But thank you." She nodded as he placed his hand on top of hers. "I assumed you hadn't eaten for a while so I ordered something."

Sam gave her a look but she dismissed it quickly. "Just let me be the one to help you for a change." He surrendered as he watched her move closer, returning to the position they had been in before he fell asleep.

Several hours later, she had done all the distracting she could possibly do. There had been flickers of a smile come to his face in that time and they had spoken about more than just the last weeks events. "Thank you Con, for everything." Shaking her head she sat forwards. "You don't have to thank me for anything, okay. I still love you and seeing you like this..."

She noticed her mistake as her words registered with him too. Connie had never openly said those words to him, despite knowing it to be true for some time. Sam watched her as she sat frozen beside him unable to take her words back, not that she was sure she wanted to. When he moved closer to her she placed a hand to his chest. "You're grieving Sam..." He let his forehead fall against hers gently as he lifted a hand to the back of her hair.

Connie moved a hand to his shoulder as she closed her eyes. "Take some time, call me if you need anything okay?" Getting up she picked up her bag and left without waiting for anything else to be said. Sam watched as she walked away letting his head fall again. Looking to the table, he noticed that the image was no longer there. Panicking he looked up before seeing it in a small frame ahead of him.

Standing up he walked across the flat to pick it up, his thumb running over the frame. Resting his other hand against the wall he sighed as his mind became clouded with conflicting thoughts. Giving it a rest he traipsed through to the bedroom switching the light on before stopping in the door. Turning the light back off he released another heavy breath sinking down onto the sofa closing his eyes as he had done for the last week.

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