CHAPTER 19 - "Thank you"

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The alcohol Titus gave me actually made me sleep for hours. Bellamy stayed with me all this time and didn't let go of my hand. The surgery wasn't especially painful; to be honest I'd seen worse. I was just glad that Bellamy was here the whole time. I'd almost lost him a few hours ago and I wasn't ready to let that happen again. I'll figure something out; I have to. I still felt drunk but I forced myself to wake up. Titus left the room a couple hours ago; there were only Bellamy and I remaining.

He was sitting on the floor, his head against the wall trying to catch some sleep. The surgery lasted hours and he didn't move an inch till I feel asleep. But he immediately stood up when he saw me awake and came closer:

"Easy Clarke, you need to rest." He said kindly.

"I'm fine, it's okay. I have slept enough for today. I feel good now." After my words he smiled and put his hand on my cheek. He was looking at me in a way I'd never seen before. There was a special spark in his eyes.

"You would never let me take care of you, would you?" I had no idea how to answer to that so I tried to stand up to get some bandages. But my legs let me down and I fell in his arms. He sat me back on the table and said:

"I got you, I got you. See, you need to stay put."

"I'm fine, it's just the alcohol. Don't treat me like I'm injured." I realized that I might have been more offensive than I intended to. But he didn't say anything; he was so good to me.

"You are. That's the point. Why does it bother you that much?"

"Because I'm the queen, I'm supposed to know how to take care of myself and my people." I made a pause. "Speaking of, you need to be healed." I said pointing the wound on his forehead. He sat without arguing staring at me. I slowly started cleaning the blood on his face. I was too small to reach his forehead so tried to stand up a little bit but he didn't let me and made me sit next to him.

I came closer to put the bandage around his head so he leaned to make it easier for me. Our legs crossed and I was only at a few millimeters from his mouth. I was about to put the last bandage on when he took my face and brought his lips to mine. He slipped his hands behind my neck touching my hair like he was afraid to break me. I didn't care about how painful my wound was; all I wanted was to feel him against me. So I pulled his jacket toward me and let my hands slowly move down on his chest. He broke the kiss and we both caught our breath. Bellamy put his finger on my lower lip, drawing my mouth. He opened his mouth trying to put his feelings into words.

"Clarke, I –" He was so cute and fragile trying to say it. I knew what was coming so I put my hands on his forearms and he opened his mouth again but made a pause and my heart flamed up. Hooked deeply into his eyes and came down from the table. I felt so small now facing him but I was so safe and happy in his arms. He didn't say anything or make me sit down; he was frozen staring at my eyes.

"I love you." I said. He let escape a sight so I stood up on my tip toes and put a long and soft kiss on his lips. But I quickly came back to reality when my legs didn't seem to be ready to stand. Bellamy helped me out to a couch but before he left I grabbed his hand and forced him to stay with me. I guess the time had its effects on us. We fell asleep.

When I woke up Bellamy was gone, it scared me so I tried to get out of the couch but I fell making a thud. Then he appeared from behind the wall. He crouched and carried me into his arms. I laughed wrapping my hands around his neck while he was walking toward the balcony.

"Why are you taking me outside?" I asked. He didn't answer, he just gave me a deep look that made me melt. When went outside so I held him tight because of the cold waft, I snuggled my head in his neck so I could feel his warm breath on mine.

"Clarke, look up." He said softly. I removed my head from him and I saw. I saw thousands of lanterns in the sky and my people gathered on the holy square, praying. "They have been here for hours."

He put his look on me with pride but my eyes were drowned into the sky. We stayed here quietly during long minutes before he took me inside. The difference between the inside and the outside wasn't that obvious now. My heart was warm. I asked Bellamy to carry me to my room. He sat on an old armchair so put me down. I've never been that close to him in every way. I knew he was a good man with principle so he won't stay to a girl's room uninvited but I wanted him to stay. Was it bad?

I put my head on his shoulder and started kissing his neck. He felt his skin getting warmer and he blushed when I drew back to look at him. I bit my lower lip and said: "I lied. You can come here whenever you want." We both smiled.

"I guess I'll stay then." Bellamy finally answered. I put my head back on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around me. I felt so safe and happy now, how was that even possible? I didn't know. I didn't care.

He was my shelter.

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