Chapter 11

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avery and harry be like

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I stopped by the diner to chat things up with Harry. I ended up helping with his shift, I scrubbed down some tables, cleaned up a coffee spill, and Harry even let me crack some eggs onto the skillet, we all know how exciting that can be. After a couple hours of fooling around and actually being quite productive, I was tired out. Which brings us to right now, nine o' clock sharp. I had a class tomorrow early in the morning so I had to be out the door soon. 

As far as Dylan goes, I'm trying my best. That's all I can say. I still had the same feelings for him, they were just the teeniest bit faded. Not much of a difference, but I tried my best to get him out of my mind. I'm so desperate to get him away from my conscience, that yesterday I vowed to draw a dot on my palm whenever he came to my head. A blue dot if it was a positive thought about him and a red one if the thoughts were negative. The fewer blue dots, the better. I ended up drawing all the way up to my wrist in dots, and the worst part- mostly blue ones. 

When Harry asked me what it was I just told him I was bored in class, I couldn't tell him the truth. I would feel too bad. I would feel bad for Harry, but also for myself. As I always say, I'm pathetic.

I walked here earlier from Jackie's place which was a thirty-minute walk. I wanted some fresh air at the time, but now there was no way I was going to spend another thirty minutes walking in the dark all alone.

"Hey, Harry, could I have a ride home?" I asked as he gathered his stuff to end his shift.

He nodded and I threw on my jacket, following him outside. We slipped into his truck, I gave him Jackie's address, and we were off. 

About five minutes later, Harry shook his head and groaned to himself. "My gas is empty," He complained, pulling over and parking in front of a boutique. 

"The closest Mobil is like ten minutes away. We're going to have to walk," He explained.

"Fuck, I have class tomorrow," I cursed.

Harry opened his car door and turned to me. "Come on, we better get a head start."

I sighed before getting out of the car, shutting the door behind me. 

"How long of a walk do you think it'll be?" I groaned as Harry made his way over to me and we started our walk together.

"Twenty minutes there and twenty minutes back," He shook his head, obviously just as frustrated with this situation as I am. I had class tomorrow, I needed to go to bed soon. 

We walked in silence for a little bit, minding our own business. Somewhere along thinking about tomorrow and all the classes I had set aside, I realized that in two days, Harry and I were going on a date. I had no idea what it might be like. I guess I expected it to be a bit more low-key, but I have no idea how to prepare for it. What do I wear? 

I remember when Dylan and I went on our first dates. I would pamper myself for hours before the date and when it rolled around all I ate was a salad, to try and impress him or something, I don't know. After the first couple weeks of our relationship, I gave that up and started eating like a pig. I was so excited to go on dates with him, he had to be the hottest guy at school. Before Dylan, I had two other boyfriends, but none of those relationships lasted more than a month or two and I never did anything with them except for kissing and foreplay. Dylan was my first, I lost my virginity to him in the middle of senior year. All of my friends thought that I lost it so late, but I think it was perfect. I can't imagine losing it to anybody else or losing it any earlier.

Thinking about Dylan this much made me upset that he was gone, I found myself almost on the verge of tears, I blinked the tears away before Harry could see. God, I thought I made some progress. I always find myself reflecting on my relationship with Dylan and I'm just taking a step backward.

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