forty three

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After the encounter with Dodie, Connor had been really anxious. Like the rest of the week, the one thing we did was ignore his parents. Their calls and texts. He had only answered Nicola once, just to tell her he was doing great and to tell his mom and dad not to try and call or text him, as he was just trying to enjoy his time here. She of course, had understood, but it didn't stop the messages from coming. I even got ones, as I'd given his mom my number at the beginning of the trip. I had just blocked it.

Instead of heading out for a dinner, we ordered room service in the hotel, and laid on the bed while eating it, watching another documentary, of course. It wasn't until the clock hit half past nine, the comfortable silence was broken.

"I want to go out," Connor stated. I looked up at him, and raised an eyebrow in a questioning gesture. I mean, I didn't mind going out, but being honest I was quite comfortable with just cuddling Connor until we would eventually fall asleep and then resume our activities in London tomorrow. "Like, let's go out and have some fun and forget about Dodie. I don't want to think about her. Because I can't help my mind drifting off to her, you know?"

I nodded. I could understand that. She'd been on my mind too. Not constantly, and probably less than on Connor's mind, but still. Also, we still hadn't had any alcohol and of course I wasn't saying that we had to, but we were allowed to drink here. I wasn't too big of a fan of drinking, just enjoyed it from time to time, but not being able to do that since moving away from Perth was still weird. It was a freedom being taken away. Suddenly I was restricted to even drinking the tiniest drop of alcohol.

"Of course. Now?" I mumbled, pressing a small kiss against his collarbone.


And that was basically where it began. An hour later we had landed ourselves in a karaoke bar, as Connor had suggested I sing something to him. As always, I had done so. I would always sing for him. But when, after walking around in London for a little while, he had suggested that I sing for a larger crowd and we enter the karaoke bar, I had grown into my shell a bit more.

It might seem strange for an outsider, to have a seemingly extravert youtuber who enjoyed meeting people and singing for basically anyone who would listen be insecure about his singing in a damn karaoke bar. To have someone who's working on music professionally be afraid to sing in a karaoke bar with some drunk people and loads and loads of bad voices. But drunk people were honest, most of the time, and I feared their judgement. What if anyone had always just kind of pitied me and told me I sang good? I knew that wasn't true, but I couldn't help but wonder.

The bar wasn't huge, but it wasn't that small either. There was a 'dance floor' in the middle of the space, and a bar to the right with doors leading to the toilets on the left. There was a small stage where karaoke participants stood on while singing. Sometimes there were multiple people performing, sometimes just one. It was fun, really. There were always different songs and voices, and while a lot of them also hurt my ears, it was enjoyable.

"So, when are you going to sing, Troye boy?" He whispered into my ear. I had relaxed quite a bit more by now, which might also have something to do with the fact that we both had drunk about two beers each by now.

We were leaning against the bar, and this far, I was content with watching others sing and fail and double over in laughter. I was content watching drunk strangers slur and try and sing the right words. I rolled my eyes at the boy, but smiled at him nonetheless.

It didn't take long for us to order another drink, and after finishing that it also didn't take us long to get dancing. I mean. I didn't really dance. Connor did, but I mostly just flopped around, staring at the boy I was here with. Because whereas I couldn't dance at all, he did. He wasn't a pro dancer of course, but he looked really hot while dancing, which was one of the reasons I pressed my lips against his ever so often. Whenever I did this, I was met with his soft lips, kissing me back greedily.

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