Heavy Hearts | Quil Ateara [3]

seize

She had been screening her calls- sending quick, simple messages periodically to the people she knew were worried about her well being. She wasn't outright ignoring anyone, she figured she was past that. She just needed time to think- to make sense of everything.

From what she could tell, pack dynamic revolves around the unity and respect of the individual members. Her place was nothing more than a shield- a weapon meant to absorb all the harsh natures that came at them.

She was front line with the protection of only a handful of people- simply because she had been close to those that could protect her. The Cullen's were there to protect her, that was given, but what of when they truly had to leave? Time would pass and she couldn't always follow them- not with so many people looking to her as a crutch to get through hard times. The pack was sworn to protect her, but that had been reoccurring throughout their history- her kind always died. She couldn't trust a handful of wolves with a grudge against people she considered her family to provide her safety.

She could rely on Lynn, surely. Lynn was her pack- her beta. The girl was apparently hardwired to place Andy's protection first- all other loyalties disregarded as long as Andy stood in her corner. It was something she could feel the wolves, the internal anger of the pack. They hated that Lynn would never truly be one of them; never truly be completely connected to the mind-link; neither will never truly need their imprint because the bond they share rival those connections.

It was the jealousy of Quil that stood out most- his need to be her sole protector was some kind of animalistic claim he held on her soul. She had little doubts that he couldn't protect her- him and Lynn together would raze entire cities I it meant keeping her safe- but it was his feelings that planted the uneasiness that bloomed inside of her.

She loved him, he loved her; and she wished it was as simple as that but he was born with the ability to turn into a giant wolf, a giant wolf that had a possessive nature toward her. Andy understood hardly anything about the nature of the imprints, what if his feelings for her from before the shift was the imprint beginning to take place? What if he truly didn't want to spend forever with her? What if they don't work?

So many what if scenarios ran through her head that everything became muddled, and she had difficulty forming coherent thoughts.

That was how she found herself going through her Monday- fighting the eternal chaos that swirled inside of her by going through the motions but not really experiencing what she was doing. She took notes as usual. Made conversation when needed as usual.

Distracting herself proved to be difficult, her thoughts always falling back to the things troubling her most. Sitting on the couch in the Cullen home, sorting through various party supplies, she finally found her mind relaxing as she focused on the task at hand.

Alice was determined to throw a graduation party, and though she did not like large crowds of people, she was all for it. Unlike the others in the house, Andy knew that she would only be going through high school once- and once was enough for her.

She would grow old, surrounded by the people she cared about, and that was enough for her.

Picking through the things as she organized them, Andy found herself with multiple strings of fairy lights- wondering how on earth Alice cold have so many and have managed to tangle them all.

"What are you doing?" Emmett questioned as he came strolling into the room, a laugh on his lips.

Rolling her eyes, she didn't bother answering the boy- he would realise that she didn't want to speak at one point.

"Don't ignore me," he whined as he took a seat next to her. "Basically, everyone has gone out- give me attention!"

Pushing the tangled lights from her lap, the boy threw himself over her- sprawling across her lap, taking up as much space as possible as he whined. He was heavy- squishing her under pure weight.

"Get off!" she grumbled- shoving at him helplessly.

She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket but she ignored it- opting to squirm from underneath Emmett and to mumble an array of curses under her breath. Andy struggled, her frail arms shook as she exerted all her strength.

"Aren't you going to get that?" Emmett questioned- beginning to dig in her pocket for the phone. She jolted wiggling furiously to keep his greedy fingers away from the device.

"Don't touch it," she growled- Emmett freezing in surprise. "I don't want to answer it. I'm not taking any calls."

He pouted, "but what if it's important? Like what if it's Alice or Bella?"

"It's not. It's one of the wolves- probably Embry or Quil. They won't stop calling."

Pushing himself up, Emmett gave her a look before silently helping her untangle the lights. It was strange to see him so serious but to her, it was comforting to just sit in his presence. She missed the quiet- the shadows that didn't always put her in the spotlight simply because she was different.

"You know, you're different from when Alice first brought you home. Before you were always so shy and hesitant, but now, you're more comfortable. You're brighter- much more willing to do something other than sit and observe," Emmett remarks. "You're smart- a genius basically, so what's got you so wrapped up in your head?"

Her mind whirred, spinning around in what seemed like circles because she couldn't get her head straight.

"I- I can't make sense of anything. It all merges into a jumbled mess," she mumbled. "There are so many factors and ideas that I just keep going in circles."

"Well what's the main problem?" he pushed.

Fumbling with her fingers, she gingerly tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. She couldn't remove her gaze from her hands, watching as her fingers shook softly.

"It's everything- the stupid imprint and the stupid connection to Lynn. It's feeling nothing but distain and jealousy from the pack, and feeling betrayal from Quil because I didn't connect to him. It's feeling something worse than betrayal from Embry because I'm connected to Lynn. It's feeling the way that Lynn is torn over the entire thing without even knowing-" her breath caught in her throat, eyes burning with tears.

"But that's not really what's wrong, is it?" Emmett asked softly.

"I don't want him to want me because he has to, I want him to want me because he wants me," Andy cried.

Moving swiftly, Emmett easily wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders. His cold skin was soothing to her, large arms giving her a secure feeling.

"It's just that- with the imprint, I can't tell if what he feels is real. It's the same feeling from before he first shifted, how do I know everything wasn't caused by the imprint?" she whispered, her soft voice echoing around the empty house.

"Listen tiny, sometimes things don't turn out the way we expect them to. He may be a giant wolf, but that boy would love you regardless of some silly bond," Emmett stated, struggling to make sure his point got across. "Even if this imprint was the cause of his affections, it would be similar to us with our mates. That boy is your soulmate, and no matter the reason that drew you together, you were meant to find one another."

Gaping at him, she felt a smile slowly creep onto her face. Andy flung her arms around his shoulders- squeezing with every ounce of strength she could muster. She could feel his body shake as he chuckles underneath her.

"You're the best, Em," the young girl exclaimed. Jumping to her feet, she made her way to the front door- sliding in her socks. She tugged on her shoes, flinging her jacket over her shoulder. She was half out the door when she froze, turning back into the house and towards Emmett with an innocent smile. "Can I borrow your jeep?"

***

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Hello spaghettio, I don't know what this is but its something J

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