In + Out

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(Sam's POV)

It's been six months since that one night at the club.

That one drunken night at the midnight diner.

That one night when I held her hair back when she threw up in the alley of some creepy abandoned street.

That one night when I fell in love.

And the woman I currently loved the most was leaving me.

I came home from work, only expecting my six-month-girlfriend to be greeting me with hugs and kisses I was desperately waiting for all day.

But it was anything but hugs and kisses. "What is this?" I murmured as I walked into the living room filled with suitcases.

I looked over at my girlfriend and suddenly, I instantly regretted looking at her.

Her face was screaming tiredness, regret, pain, but most of all: 'I'm sorry.'

The silence filled the room with nothing but uncomfortable air.

I couldn't find myself breathing. I couldn't find myself walking over to the suitcases and unpacking them. I couldn't find myself.

"Sam, stop..." My girlfriend said. "Let me just explain." Her hand connected with mine and I flinched, somehow agonizing her touch when all I just wanted was her touch.

After a while we sat down on the couch, I was staring at the tv in front of me. Y/N was staring at our feet.

Both avoiding having to look at each other.

Like we were strangers again. Like we didn't know each other.

"You're not in love with me." She said, breaking the awful silence.

I turned to look at her. Her beautiful dark-brown eyes suddenly missed any sign life in them, something I used to see all the time.

And right now, I thought back of all those times I would just look in her eyes and think 'Wow.'

"I am in love with you."

She shook her head. "That's what you're trying to convince yourself, Sam." She told me. "You're in love with the thought of me."

She continued, "You just love the way I make you feel... or the things I do for you. You just love the idea of me. The idea of love."

"You're lying." I shook my head, not believing a word she just said. "I love you for you. I don't just love you because you make me happy. Or because you make me laugh. You make me happy because you are everything I ever wanted."

"That's the problem." She looked me in the eyes. I backed off a little because of the way she looked at me.

This weren't my girlfriend's sweet, loving eyes. These were strong, pierced eyes whom I didn't recognize. Or I didn't want to recognize.

"I'm everything all you ever wanted. What if I'm not the perfect little girl you thought I would be? What if it was all a trick or a cover up? What if–"

"It's not. It was real. You and I are real."

"Sam, I'm not in love with you!" She burst out.

"I love you. I care about you, I really do. But... I'm not in love with you."

Suddenly everything became blurry and vague. And it went by so quickly. "I have always thought you were the one." I told her.

"From the moment I saw you in that club. In that black dress, denim jacket and heels that were way too awkward for you." She chuckled and I was glad there was still a little of the girl I love left inside of her.

"You gave me the best night of my life." I said as I thought back to it. "And that's something only you can do. I can't imagine it being someone else, ever."

"You'll have to."

She bit her lip. I desperately wanted to bite it for her.

"You deserve to be happy–"

"You make me happy." I told her.

"–but not with someone who isn't happy." She softly said. "I'm not... I'm not happy with you, Sam."

And this, is how I experienced heartbreak for the first time in my life.

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