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Pen Your Pride

Chapter Eight; things werent as they seemed

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I wake up the next morning and turn on my phone.

6 text from Claire all saying how worried she was and asking where I went. I feel bad because I probably should have texted her and told her I left. All I knew was I made a complete fool of myself last night and I needed to get out of there.

I exit out of Claire's messages and see I have two more text.

2 from an unknown number.

The first one read; Stella, it wasn't how it looked last night. You had no right to call her out.

I scoff. I had every right to call that lying bitch out.

The second one read; I'll be at your house to pick you up in 20 minutes.

P.s it's your friend Shawn.

I scoff again. Now he wants to be my friend? One minute he says we're hardly friends and the next he wants to be my friend? He's gonna have to try a lot harder that that.

I look at the time stamp and see that he sent those text 12 minutes ago. Which means I have 8 minutes to get ready. Great.

I quickly jump out of bed and brush my teeth. I leave my hair how it is . It looks good to just leave it go because of the natural waves it has in it. I put on some makeup so my eyes don't look completely Puffy from crying last night.

I hear the car horn beep and my heart begins to beat faster . I'm honestly worried about how our conversation is gonna go. I was a bitch to call her out but he was a dick to say the things he did to me. I mean, she should have just told the truth and then I wouldn't have had to put her on spot like I did.

All I know is I don't want to feel the way I did last night ever again. It just wasn't a good feeling. It was sickening . And the worst part about it? I can't help the way I've been feeling. I don't even know what it is but I just know it hurt to see him with her.

I walk outside to see him standing outside of his jeep with his arms crossed. He has flowers on the hood of his jeep. Roses. He's wearing tight jeans , sperries, and a tight button down navy blue shirt.

"Why are you here?" I walk out to him slowly with my arms crossed still feeling slightly vulnerable.

"I got you roses, I know that's a shitty way to say sorry but it's a start" he hands them to me. I give him a half smile but His face stays straight showing no emotion what so ever. The tension is thick enough to the point you could probably cut it with a knife.

We stand there for a few more seconds , neither of us knowing what to say.

"Get in, I'm gonna talk to you about some things" he walks around the other side of his jeep climbing into the drivers seat.

I follow behind him and I hop in the passenger seat next to him. He starts up the engine which sends chills down my spine .

"Where are we going" I speak up after a couple of minutes of driving in silence . I'm nervous. I start to fidget with my hands but he stops me by holding one of them in my lap.

"We're gonna drive around for a little while" he sighs letting go of my hand , he runs his fingers through his hair and places his hand back into mine.

"I want you to ask me anything you want to know and I will tell you. I'll try to tell you" he says honestly . All I do is nod slightly.

"It's not easy for me to open up to anyone and I'm really trying to open up to you so if you could just please help me out here stell" he looks at me sincerely with a slight frown placed onto his face, his voice is shaky . Just like mine.

A few seconds pass by as I try to come up with all of the questions I want to ask him. I'm surprised he is giving me this opportunity. I'm grateful but I'm surprised.

"Why were you with her last night, you were with me 10 minutes before that. So how did you manage to find her in that time" I say a little to harshly.

"She found me, it was dark and I thought it was you. She wanted to get back together, she apologized." He says honestly . He keeps his eyes on the road .

"And what did you say to that?" I ask scared. I'm scared to know the answer to my question. I know they had a long past.

"I said I wasn't interested in having anything with her" he finally breathes out

"Did you guys have sex?" I ask after a few more seconds of silence.


my heart sinks. I begin to pull my hand out of his reach.

"No Stella not last night" he panics "We have before but not in a long time. Not since I met you" he pulls over in a parking lot with no cars in it. He grips onto my hand tighter.

"I don't do relationships" he says sternly "not since her" he shakes his head.

Tears begin to well up in my eyes "oh" I whisper. I look out the window because I can't look at him. How does he expect me to look at him right now? Especially when it feels like I've been hit with a pile of bricks.

"Damnit, I meant to say I didn't do relationships" he looks at me "I haven't dated anyone since I've dated her. But since I met you my life has been all sorts of out of whack"

"Oh thanks" I sigh and laugh wiping a tear that has fallen. He grabs my face gently and makes me look at him.

"What I'm trying to say is, ever since I met you I haven't been able to think straight. You do something to me. I'm not good at this relationship shit but I'm gonna try and be good at it for you because I think I could like you Stella, obviously i need more time to figure it out but I think I could like you. Especially after seeing you leave last night, it changed something" he rubs his thumb over my hand in soft circles, it's oddly calming so I let him keep doing the gesture.

"I think I could like you too"

"Let's just see where this takes us okay?" He looks at me but looks away the second my eyes meet his. I notice how he always does that, it's like he's nervous to talk about the real him.

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