Chapter 14

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Barry's Point of View

"...I know how dangerous he is and I couldn't get it off my mind. I have to find him. I thought I was putting your safety first by keeping this from you, I understand if you don't want to be apart of this. After all, I've already put you in more danger than necessary." I finish off explaining, gesturing my hand towards Caitlin. The ache is still so heavy when I think about how helpless she was when this happened. I can't expect them to drop everything for me, I just hope they'll understand. Caitlin moves closer to me and takes my hand, I think it's her way of telling me 'it's okay'. I'm not if she means this whole thing or specifically what happened to her, but it doesn't matter because none of it is okay.

"You know it isn't your fault right? What happened to Caitlin?" Cisco says almost reading my mind, but it is. If it wasn't for me trusting Snart to transfer the metas he wouldn't have escaped, and I wouldn't be hunting him down now. I don't want to bring all of that back up, I just want to get him somewhere safe, for everyone. I just give him a look that only he really understands, it's my 'I don't want to think about it' kind of look. "Anyway, S.T.A.R Labs was a part of creating Weather Wizard and as far as I'm concerned I'd say it's my job to help get him back, I'm in." 

A feeling of relief begins to take over, as much as I wanted to do this alone, there must have been a part of me terrified, because as soon as Cisco said he's in, a weight lifted from my shoulders. Honestly, I'm nothing without my team. I smile at Cisco, to say thanks. I can only hope that one day I'll be able to make up for all the trouble I've brought into their lives. 

"I feel we're stronger as a team, I'll work on something." Harrison says. Emotionless. It's always hard to read him, he's all about teamwork and sticking together, but when you look at the smaller picture he's still very independent and not completely open with us all. Nevertheless, the team wouldn't be half a strong as we are today without him, and that's all that matters. 

"I've been working on some speed formulas for Barry, maybe we could run a look over them and see which ones seem the best?" Caitlin asks Harrison knowing he won't understand the biochemistry as well as she can. Harrison just nods.

Even though my mind should be fully focused on the work, there's a big part of me thinking about Caitlin. We've only had one date, and suddenly all this happens. I still want to be able to treat her right and make her feel special. There has to be something I can do to let her know I'm not going to give up on us, even when it gets hard. I know she's not well enough to go on a date again, but maybe there's something I can do for her at home or here, at S.T.A.R Labs. I manage to drain their voices into background noise whilst I think about the different things I can do for her. Nothing seems good enough, she honestly deserves the world. I really didn't think it was possible to fall for someone as quickly as I have her, and maybe it isn't. I'm still unsure myself about how long I've been having these kind of feelings for her. It's always been so clouded due to Iris being around and all that, but now everything is clear. It's Caitlin. It's always been Caitlin.


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