✯ | chapter eighteen

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CHAPTER EIGHTEEN ;; HALLUCINATIONS

"AM I HORRIBLE for feeling that?" Clarke asked, a giddy tone to her usually calm voice.

"Try again," Bellamy chuckled.

"No. We shouldn't waste the ammunition," Clarke replied.

Leila held up her gun, positioning it the way Bellamy taught her, looking through the scope carefully. She aimed, her finger ghosting over the trigger as she waited for the perfect moment. When her hands had stilled and the rifle was steady, she pulled the trigger and fired a bullet at the sheet, hitting just beside the centre of the X.

"You need to practice," Bellamy said.

"No," Clarke answered firmly. "But we need to talk about how we're gonna keep guns around camp, where we're gonna keep them and who has access."

Bellamy ignored her and raised his gun, firing a shot at the sheet and hitting the X. Clarke looked over at him. "You left Miller in charge of the Grounder. You must trust him."

"You two should keep him close," Bellamy mused. "The others listen to him."

"We should keep him close?" Leila asked. "Bell, what's going on? You've been acting weird all day," Bellamy spared a glance at the rations he took and in Leila's mind the dots connected. "All the rations you took. You're gonna run."

"That's why you agreed to come with us," Clarke said accusingly. "You were gonna load up on supplies and just disappear."

"I don't have a choice," Bellamy replied. "The Ark will be here soon."

"So you're just gonna leave Octavia?" Leila asked. "You're gonna leave me?"

"Octavia hates me. She'll be fine," Bellamy answered. "You don't need me."

"Bellamy, I do need you," Leila admitted. "You don't know–"

"I shot the Chancellor!" Bellamy said loudly. "They're gonna kill me, Leila. Best case scenario, they lock me up with the Grounder for the rest of my life, and there's no way in hell I'm giving Jaha the satisfaction. Keep practicing. I need some air."

"Bell–" Leila began, looking at Clarke, who nodded.

"Go," she whispered.

Leila nodded and followed after Bellamy, barely getting out of the depot before the scene in front of her changed, and her mother was standing before her. The scene was too perfect to be real, but Leila's hallucinogen-fuelled mind was telling her that this was where she wanted to be, all thoughts of following Bellamy straying from her mind.

"Mom?" she asked incredulously, taking a few steps forwards into her mother's arms.

"My beautiful baby girl," Leila's mother, Jennifer, smiled.

Leila had never wanted to cry more than she did in that moment, standing in her room on the Ark with her mother, who had long since been deceased.

Leila took a few steps back from the woman, unsure whether or not what she was seeing was real. Sure, the woman standing in front of her looked like her mom; the same brunette hair that fell in waves around her face, the same eyes, mouth and nose as Leila had acquired. Hell, she even smelled like her. But she just... wasn't.

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