Can I Give Up Now?

25 6 11

He'd found the poem on some blog---written by an unknown---full of meaning for him...

He began, slowly, to read it yet again, out loud:

"Creeping up a

Hill of life from a

Valley too well-known;

This time, this

Time reach some

Height not leading

Back to have-to;

This time, this

Time free enough to

See beyond these

Patterns locked in

Self so locked in

Dust."

He took note, yet again, of the "Back to have-to"---rolled it around in his mind---knowing what it meant for him---things he kept "having" to do, no matter how much some other part of him desperately didn't want to do them...

And, "reach some Height not leading Back to have-to"?

He'd explored so many "Heights" over the years---philosophy, psychology, occultism, spirituality, religion...

Each did elevate his thinking and, eventually, his actions--some ever so slightly, some quite substantially; but, never enough to not fall back down to "have-to"...

He'd learned about how powerful his ego was---some religions going so far as to call it the Evil One or Satan...

Ego...

So resistant to going beyond itself---so powerfully keeping him in its Cage...

He'd read, somewhere, that the Will (Ego) had to be turned into a "Door"; then, Release from the Cage could enter his life...

So, his life-long quest (with it's interminable ups and downs) continued...

"How", he pondered (at some new depth he'd just recently reached), "can I turn my ego into a door...?".

All he really wanted to do was scream, "Can I Give Up Now!?"; which he finally realized would happen when he opened that Door...


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