Shes gone. Your mine.

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She stepped off the ledge. "Ahhhhhh!" I screamed as I fell to my knees. she vanished. I couldn't look, I couldn't see her mangled body. How would I live without her. Tears rolled down my face.  What was I to do without the only one I loved? I walked back down the stairs trying to avoid seeing her body. They cleaned up quick as when I got to the bottom there was no body to be seen, not even blood. For a second I had hope she was alive until I looked up. Not from that height. As I walked past the police they pointed guns at me and told me to freeze but I didn't care. I wanted them to shoot me and Gordon knew it. I heard Gordon tell them to let me go. I walked over to my car got in and drove home. Barely able to see the tears were to much. I walked in the front door and grabbed the whiskey. "You ok boss? I've never seen you cry before." I sat in silence I felt sick. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone.  I downed a glass of whisky and slammed the glass on the table refilling it. "Where's Harley boss? Where did you shoot off to?" I shook my head, drank my drink and smashed the glass on the table. "I don't want anyone mentioning her to me again do you hear." He nodded. "Harley's dead spread the word." I got up to go to bed. "You have three meetings today boss do you want them cancelled?" I nodded grabbed another whisky glass and went upstairs. I slumped into bed. All I did that day was cry. Drink and cry. All I could see in my mind was her smile. All I could hear was her voice. My door slowly creaked open. "Go away." I slurred drunk and tired. Suddenly two baby hyenas jumped onto the bottom of the bed and crawled up to me curling up in balls by my side. At first they made me angry but then stroking them reminded me of Harley's hair. I calmed as I stroked them. I went from being sad to angry to numb. I had no motivation to work to eat to sleep or even to breath. It's my fault she did it. If I hadn't of got angry. I hugged one of the hyenas and began to cry again begging for her forgiveness. "I'm sorry Harley baby if you come back I'll do it right this time. I promise you I'll treat you right." Bud and Lou started to lick the tears from my face. 
It was a week later when I decided to first turn the tv on.
"The joker. Where has the clown prince of crime gone? Since he believes he lost his queen he hasn't been seen. Leaving Gotham in fear of what he will do next."
What do they mean believe I saw her falling. Maybe they are trying to give me false hope so they can trap me at Arkham. I wasn't falling for it. I had been in bed for a week eating only twice in that time. And drinking a lot of whiskey and two glasses of water a day. I dragged myself out of bed and into the bathroom. I looked into the mirror and Harley was stood behind me. I turned around in shock but she wasn't there. I turned around my reflection was Harley. I put a hand out to touch her pale skin but was met with cold glass. "Don't cry puddin I'm right here. Go out do something.. for me." I nodded the tears begging to flow again. "Anything for you Harls." She giggled. "That's my boy. I love you puddin." I smiled slightly. "I love you to Harls." She faded away and I was me again. I had a shower for the first time that week, did my hair and went to get dressed. I walked into my bedroom and picked up all the empty bottles. I put them on the bed and got into some trackies and I had a jacket downstairs. I couldn't be bothered to put anything else on. I carried the bottles downstairs as I entered the kitchen people clapped." Nick hushed them all and gave me a glass of whisky. "I'm sorry sir I know how much she meant to you.. I have the scars to prove it" then men laughed as they thought about how I threw him out a truck for looking at her. I shook my head. "Don't speak of her. I don't want anything that has anything to do with her mentioned to me. I loved her dearly yes but no more talk of her." The men split up and I made myself some pancakes. I made four I ate half of one. I picked up my jacket and went out the door. I walked to the club I didn't want to drive. I entered the club and everything fell silent. I nodded at a waitress and went over to my booth. Two large men were sat there with a women in Harley's spot. I filled with rage. "MOVE NOW!" I shouted they looked at me and laughed. "You haven't been seen for a while word is you lost your bitch." I pulled out my gun and put the barrel to his head. "Don't you dare speak about her like that! She was more then anything you'll ever be." He laughed. "Your an old has been joker no ones seen you in ages. Your slut died and if you think anyone's scared of you any more your mistaken, we all know your weak now and well I'm not scared of you." I made sure it was loaded and pulled the trigger. His friends got up and moved while some of my men took care of the body. "Anyone else have anything to say on the matter. No? Thought not." I sat down and ordered a bottle of whisky. I was getting very drunk and I saw a flash of blond into blue hair out the corner of my eye. "Harley!" I stood up filled with excitement. "A women turned around that was not Harley. There wasn't even anyone blonde. I kept seeing glimpses of her everywhere. For a second I thought I say her in Arkham uniform on the tv. I was at the club all day and saw 11 different Harley's. I staggered out the club at 11pm. I staggered home drunk. I walked past Arkham and I swear I saw Harley go in the doors. "HARLEY!!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. Nothing. I slid down the fence and sat there for a few hours until Ivy walked past. "You look like shit. What's wrong with you? I haven't seen you this drunk since you got with Harley." I looked up at her tears rolling down my cheeks at the mention of her name. "And I've definitely never seen you cry." She helped me up and began walking me home." You stink of booze what's Harley going to say J." I sighed. "Nothing. She's dead." Ivy looked at me in shock. "No she can't be how why when." I struggled to slur the words. "I killed her. She jumped. Wasn't it on the news?" She gripped me tighter. "You should know I don't watch the news." We were silent until I got home and she passed me over to nick. He helped me to the sofa. "Sir do you need anything." I had another drink. "Harley." I slurred looking up at him. "You don't happen to have a spare one of them lying around. Thought not." 

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