Dark Enough (Tam)

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Trigger Warning: Suicide and self harm mentioned.

There is a girl in the front of my class,
Who I swear I've never seen do anything but laugh

[YN] was an intriguing girl. She was in most of my classes, now that I was able to attend Foxfire. She sat where she was visible. [YN] was sugar sweet to the teachers. And she was a gentle loving elf all together.

She's tall and she's smart,
Beautiful and strong,
And when someone's down,
She tries to fix what is wrong

She helped everyone. She even tried to crack smiles from me. But it never worked. On the outside. She was beautiful. She had [YHL] [YHC] hair that cascaded down her shoulders and framed her fair [ST] skinned face. Her [YEC] eyes were always bright and flecked with enthusiasm. She was afraid of nothing and loved everything. Passionate about the world she lived in.

Or so that's how she appeared.

I'm a Shade, I know when someone has a dark side. I never even needed to read her shadowvapor just to know that. Someone couldn't be that happy and not have even one small crack in their foundation.

How does someone so perfect
Feel so insecure?

She would run her fingers through her hair nervously all the time. She constantly cleaned out under her fingernails when she wasn't doing anything. And she tended to absent mindedly smooth out her eyebrows and fix her clothes. I didn't know if it was a girl thing or if she was trying to hide any leaking flaws. Linh was never like this, I wouldn't know the first thing about girls anyways.

[YN] was flawless to me. I never talked to her because I was afraid. She was popular. I was the scary Shade that people didn't trust. I didn't want people to talk about her because she hung around me. Yet it seemed that she was still able to have a ruined life without me in it.

As to scar her skin with cuts and burns,
And still want to hurt more

[YN] nervously tugged on the sleeves of her tunic. Her waist-length cape rippled with her anxiety, her telekinesis massaging it without her noticing. I didn't know what happened at [YHN], but whatever it was, she clearly couldn't handle it herself.

How does someone so loving,
Learn to hate her own guts?

[YN] constantly got compliments regardless her bad habits that only I noticed. Boys commented on how beautiful she looked.

"Oh please. If Foxfire was made of mirrors, the entire school would have shattered at my reflection."

Girls begged to know how she was so pretty and smart.

"I'm not that smart. I'm not smart at all. I'm probably a poor excuse of an elf for being this stupid."

She insisted every denial with a violent view of herself. I never understood it. I couldn't. What elf could be so amazing on the outside but hurt on the inside?

Drawing a picture on her arm with a blade
As if her mind isn't dark enough

There is a girl in the front of my class,
Who's eyes are glazed over like newly made glass,

It's been a few days. [YN] has become increasingly quiet. She stared down at her hands on the desk, her fingers twitching in an indistinct manner. I inched closer to her. Wanting to finally get to know her. But Linh pulled me back. [YN] seemed uninterested in the world around her. Like the world enclosed in her mind was a much better one to live.

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