Chapter 30 - Wonderwall (Oasis ; 1995)

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5 years later..

"I didn't think I could be this nervous about anything," I said to Spencer as I finished tying and adjusting the tie around my neck. I'd grown accustomed to wearing suits over the last five years, and anytime I wasn't wearing one, it felt strange. On stage, of course, I didn't wear suits, but with as many galas and events I'd been to over the years, you'd think that's all I owned.

Spencer chuckled behind me, holding out my suit jacket for me as I slipped my arms into the sleeves. "I don't get what you're so nervous about, anyway," he tried to reason with me. "It's just a wedding, one that will finally officiate things between the two of you."

"Hey," I argued back with a small chuckle, "just because you and Jon got married within a year of knowing each other doesn't mean what you guys have is more official than what we have."

"I know that, B," he said softly, pinning my corsage to my coat. "What I'm saying, is that you don't have anything to be nervous about. If he wanted out of this at any point in time, he would've left a long time ago. Remember, I've known him practically my whole life. He's wanted this more than he's wanted anything in his whole life."

I nodded softly, fiddling with my cuffs as I kept glancing at myself in the mirror. Spencer sighed softly before grabbing my shoulders and holding me in place in front of him. "Breathe, Brendon," he said softly. "You're gonna walk down that aisle, he's gonna be standing at the altar and he's gonna be crying. You're gonna see him and you're gonna start laughing at him and then you're gonna start crying, too. You're gonna get married, go to the reception, and then go on your honeymoon and live happily ever after. Okay?"

I wiped under my eyes to rid myself of the tears that were starting to form as I smiled and nodded at him. "Let's do this," I said confidently. "Let's go get me married."

* *~~~* *


"W-What if he doesn't want to m-marry me," I said to Jon as I nervously pinned my corsage to my suit jacket. "I mean, he s-seemed excited when he said yes, b-but that was a-almost a year ago. W-What if he's changed his mind?"

Jon sighed softly with a laugh as he smoothed out the back of my suit jacket. "There's no way he doesn't want to marry you, Ryan. Calm down, you're overthinking things and stuttering again."

I left out a sharp stream of air as I kept adjusting my suit in the full length mirror in front of me. Jon then walked over to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pointed at the mirror. "You know who I see in that mirror?" I turned to look at him quizzically as he continued pointing at our reflections. "I see Ryan Ross," he continued in a soft voice, "one of the strongest people I've ever met. I see a man who never let a small misfortune get in his way of accomplishing his dreams. I see a man who fell in love with a man who fell in love with him for who he is."

My eyes were already gathering tears as Jon continued speaking. "You two are going to live such a happy life together. You're going to adopt children, and teach them that they can do whatever they set their minds to and that they can love whoever they want to love. You're going to tell them that they're grandmother is going to spoil the hell out of them and that they're grandfather would've loved the hell out of them if he ever got the chance to meet them. You're going to be happy, Ryan."

I brushed away my tears and nodded as I laughed gently at him. "Yeah, y-you're right."

He hugged me to him and patted my shoulders softly. "Of course I am," he said, making me roll my eyes. "Now, c'mon. We have to get you married."

* *~~~* *

Watching Brendon walk down the aisle seemed almost surreal. Looking back almost five years, we were merely strangers who would pass glances back and forth at each other. I sketched him and shaped him before I fell in love with him. I portrayed him in ways that would make anyone fall in love with him, myself included. And, out of everyone who I'm sure fell in love with him, he fell in love with me. He chose me, I chose him, we chose each other.

As he came to stand in front of me, the both of us were crying with wide smiles on our faces. I reached forward and cupped his face in my hands and brushed away his tears. He laughed gently at me, pressing soft kisses to the heel of my palms before taking them in his as our officiant began the ceremony. I couldn't take my eyes off of Brendon, my mind getting lost as I watched him, almost causing me to miss our officiant telling us to say our vows.

Brendon offered to say his vows first, removing a bit of nerves off of my shoulders. He cleared his throat, adjusting his tie in a joking manner, making the guests and myself laugh. He then looked me in the eyes as he held my hands tighter and he began to speak.

"Ryan Ross," he started softly, sniffling just a bit, "when we met, I was modeling for an art class you were in but had already taken. You didn't need to be in that class, but you repeated it because you loved the atmosphere and the professor."

The both of us looked out to the crowd, seeing Gerard and Frank sitting near the front and waving at us with three of their four children sitting right beside them. I smiled out at them and faced back at Brendon as he continued speaking. "I'm glad you were in there, though," he said as he began rubbing the back of my hands with his thumbs. "Had you not been there, we would've never met. I would've never met the absolute love of my life and I wouldn't be standing here telling you how much I love you. I vow to be by your side for the rest of our lives, through thick and thin and whatever may come our way. I'm yours forever, Ryan."

I reached up and wiped away the abundance of tears that had cascaded down my cheeks as Miles, one of Frank and Gee's kids, handed Brendon his ring and awaited me to start my vows. I had written them all down on a piece of paper and memorized it, but after hearing Brendon's vows, I knew now what needed to be said.

"Brendon Urie," I started softly, "when I was younger, my father told me that I would only ever find happiness in three ways. First, I would have to decide that my views on myself were more important than other's views on me. Second, I would need to have a profession that I loved and that I would never find a reason to hate. Lastly, I needed to fall in love with someone who would share my views on life as well as encourage me to be a better me while at the same time never trying to turn me into someone I'm not."

Brendon nodded gently, tears filling his eyes and mine as I kept speaking. "Before my father passed, he told my mother something that I'll never forget." I felt more tears pile in my eyes as I sniffled softly. "He told her that he couldn't wait to have you as a son-in-law and that he was glad I took his advice. My dad adored you, Brendon, almost as much as I do. I love you, and I vow to spend the rest of forever loving you as long as you'll let me."

Miles handed my ring to me and went to join his fathers, who were both wiping the tears from their eyes. Our officiant wiped his eyes before coming back to us and addressing us. "Brendon Boyd Urie," he started softly, "do you take this man, George Ryan Ross the third, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, through good times and bad, in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?"

Brendon smiled widely at me before nodding vigorously. "Hell yeah," he said, causing all of us to laugh. "I do, I do."

Our officiant turned to me. "George Ryan Ross the third," he started softly, "do you take this man, Brendon Boyd Urie, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, through good times and bad, in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?"

I nodded softly, stroking the back of Brendon's hands as I looked in his eyes. "I do."

"Then," our officiant continued, "by the power vested in me by the state of Illinois and the city of Chicago, I now pronounce you Husband and Husband. You may kiss your groom."

The cheers and applause rang out around us as I took Brendon's face in my hands and pressed my lips firmly to his. His hands went to flatten against my upper and lower back as we lost ourselves in our kiss. Time seemed to go in slow motion and I felt like I was suffocating, but in a good way. It was kind of like the first day that I met him, in a way.

I mean, I remembered a lot of things.

But, in that moment, I couldn't even remember how to breathe.

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