If there's a fire

12.

The pair walked around downtown, holding hands as usual.

When Thomas dropped James's hand, James couldn't help but feel bad. He was the one who grabbed Thomas's hand I the first place- maybe Thomas didn't actually want him, or want to hold his hand.

These thoughts left James's mind as soon and Thomas wrapped his arm around James, pulling him closer.

"James?" Thomas asked. James looked up, nodding.

"Yeah? What's wrong?" James asked.

"Nothing. Are you having fun?" Thomas asked. James blushed.

"Y-yeah. Dinner was good. Thank you." James said. Thomas just squeezed his shoulder, and led him into a shop.

They shopped around for a while, before arriving on the edge of town. There was a small bench looking out on the mountain area. The two sat down, and James leaned on Thomas.

"Thank you for coming out with me." Thomas whispered. James shook his head, looking up at Thomas with a smile.

Thomas got lost in his eyes quickly, which wasn't hard to do.

Next thing he knew, their lips were together. It was like an electric shock, it was like an explosion- James felt that maybe there was an explosion, as it was his heart that blew up. He melted into the kiss, and when they realized what they were doing, they didn't stop.

Thomas pulled James closer, almost into his lap. James's arms snuck around Thomas neck.

The pair eventually split for air, and James rested his head on Thomas's shoulder.

Oh god.

Oh my god.

Thomas quickly let go of James and James pulled away.

"I'm so-"

"We shouldn't have-"

"I've lik-"

"Let's just pretend that didn't happen." Thomas cut James off. James's eyes widened with- was that hurt?

Thomas just shook the look of James's eyes out of his head and stood up, walking away, James stumbling after him. He tried not to cry.

--

"I kissed him. I fucked everything up, and I kissed him." Thomas said. He hadn't even returned back to their dorm yet, but he knew James was there.

John stood, setting his book down.

"Woah, woah- okay, you did what?" He asked, Thomas sat down on the couch.

"I kissed him! We were just sitting on this bench- I had my arm around him, and I asked him if he was having fun, and then our lips were just. Together! I don't remember who kissed who- it just happened. And he almost sat on my lap- I pulled him closer, we just- John, we kissed!"

"What happened afterwards?" John asked, sitting beside Thomas.

"Well- uh- he tried to say something, and I just stopped him. I couldn't handle the rejection. I just said we should forget about it."

"You idiot!" John shouted, smacking Thomas's shoulder. Thomas was confused. "You should've listened to him. He kissed you back, right? Maybe he likes you too. You've known each other for, what, heart six months? Counting when you guys first met?" John said. "That's plenty of time to develop feelings."

"I doubt it. He wouldn't like me. I'm an asshole. He deserves so much better." Thomas groaned.

John rolled his eyes.

"What he deserves doesn't matter. What he wants does. And he may want you. Just... try and give him what he wants. Once he's got that, you can tell him what he deserves. Try and give that to him. Okay?" John said. Thomas nodded, looking up at John.

"Go to him." He said, and Thomas left.

--

"James?" Thomas whispered. James quickly sat up, wiping his eyes. He dropped the pillow he'd been hugging.

"Y-yes?" He responded. He couldn't help but stutter- the nerves had taken over.

"Oh, James." Thomas said, sitting down on his bed. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you- or I should've listened to you- I'm so sorry..." Thomas said. He reached out for James's hand, and James gave it to him so Thomas could pull him closer.

"Thomas?" James asked, his head on Thomas's chest.

"Yeah?"

"Did you want to kiss me?" He asked.

Thomas nodded, unashamed. James felt a small bubble of hope in his chest. He reworded his previous question.

"D-do you want to kiss me?" He asked, blushing. Thomas turned red as well, but nodded anyways. The two locked eyes. "Do it." James said, and Thomas wrapped his arms around James's neck, pulling him closer. James's eyes fluttered to a shut, and Thomas's widened.

Their lips met, and it was short, but oh god, it was sweet. Their lips moved, and they realized what they were doing. With a blush and a shudder, they pulled away.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kissed you in the first place. I know that you're not gay and- uh-"

Thomas, who had been to shocked to say anything at first, burst into giddy giggles.

"Me? Straight? You're a blind man, Madison!" Thomas laughed. James awkwardly chuckled, before the two began to laugh together at none other than the idea of the two of them being straight.

"I'm glad you kissed me." Thomas said. "I'm glad I kissed you." He added.

"Me too." James smiled softly, and Thomas pulled him to his chest again.

"So what does this mean?" James asked. Thomas shrugged.

"Shall we cross that bridge when we get to it?" Thomas asked.

James, confused as he thought they were already at "that bridge," just nodded, savoring every minute in Thomas's arms.

The night ended in James's bed, both fully clothed, as much as Thomas protested with a laugh and a smirk. James just giggled and snuggled into Thomas's side, and Thomas wrapped his arms around him.

And for once, they were both actually happy.