Finding Winter

Chapter 11

Nausea infested my stomach and began to hike its way up my throat, pulsating and radiating unwanted heat throughout my body. Not today. The shadows attacking, attacking again, and finding out about the recent murder made all of this too real. I just wanted today to be a day where I could lay in my bed, sleep this all off, and process what happened yesterday.

The burden revolved chaotically in my mind until I slipped under the pressure and fell into the couch, catching my hanging head in my hands while Sarah and Autumn interchanged thoughts.

Their conversation was mere white noise to the static of panic that cluttered the voice of reason.

"So what are we going to do now?"

Is there anything we can do?

"I don't know, Sarah. Julian is a solid lead, but the kid that just died-"

Arthur Chang. I hardly knew the kid.

"I don't know if I can do this, Autumn."

At least I wasn't the only one who felt overwhelmingly incapable.

"I don't think I can either, but we have to do something. I just can't figure out if if we should do anything now."

"Because there could be a possibility that Julian could not be Spring."

"Yes, that, but, well- well. Maybe. But why would he react the way he did if he was an assassin? But who was the kid that died? Why did he die? There would be no point killing an innocent human that could not see Ethel, so he has to be involved with Spring somehow."

It took a lot for Autumn to get flustered, yet here she was stumbling over her words. But eventually, when she was able to regain her train of thought, my sister sighed and continued rambling off all the sides to this possible situation with Sarah chiming in with her two cents now and then. But, there was nowhere they could go with it.

No conclusions to draw.

They were stuck speculating the same small morsel of evidence, circling around the same twisted cycle of deconstructing the impossible mystery of Spring.

Sitting here listening to them repetitively deliberate showed how pointless it was to decide on anything right now. Any conversation the two of them were having were sputtering products of their paranoia.

My head slid further down my arms as my hands reached up to claw at my ears- their words pecked and berated my anxiety like a flock of vultures, but there was nothing I could do to stop or add to their conversation. There was nothing I wanted to add.

It was hopelessly all the same thing.

Squinting my eyes at the mental tear and fatigue that threw my mind into a delirious haze, I buried my head into the couch behind me and stared up at the ceiling, only thinking about how screwed we were.

If I didn't show my powers on the field that day, none of this may have happened. Screw my recklessness; I swore I had everything under control. I tried, really, to refrain myself from punching Julian, but when I let loose I didn't expect freaking flames to come out from my fingers. It was all an accident.

An accident out of my control that cost everything. I don't know how I lost my mind like that.

For a moment, Autumn and Sarah silenced their conversation, and I could almost hear the concern in my sister's gaze when she looked at me.

"Maybe, we should stop thinking about it, for now, keep low profiles, and wait for Mandell's instructions." Autumn's hesitant voice broke softly in surrender to willing defeat.