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Pen Your Pride

Can't Change Me, Anymore

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Copyright © Mokihana


"Mom, I'm gay...." I stood there paused. My mom's eyes widened as she let the words sink in slowly. I watched, as I slid down into the chair, not wanting to continue with our conversation until she said something first. She stood there for a good fifteen minutes just looking everywhere except at each other. She and I both couldn't think of anything to say to each other until finally...

"WHAT THE HELL!?" my mom screeched. I jumped slightly as her voice reached me. I looked down into my lap where my hands were silently playing with a strand of my shorts. "WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? HOW CAN IT BE? SINCE WHEN? HOW LONG?" my mom shouted question at me back after back. I had no clue which question to answer first so I let her yell at me until she felt the need to stop. After a while of me sitting here on the couch silently she looked at me curiously and began talking more calmly. "Okay Ariel, please explain the situation?"

I looked at her and explained myself to her, "Well mom, I've been thinking that I was gay since I have NO interest in guys whatsoever. So when I finally thought that being with a girl would be the life for me I tried it and thought to myself there isn't anything else that I want than to be with a girl." I blushed thinking of Lanah as I continued. "I guess you could say I'm more comfortable, physically and emotionally, around girls than I will ever be with guys, mom."

"Ariel..." My mom finally sat down slowly and looked at me. "Are you sure?" she asked quietly.

I thought about Lanah again as I remembered our night together. I was definitely sure but could I say that knowing it would break my mom's heart...?

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