Living Again~ Thirty-Seven

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I leaned back against the tree, gritting my teeth tightly. This was not the time to cry. Climbing down with silent steps, I couldn't believe what I had just heard. How could his mother hate me THAT much? Was I really that wrong for him? I mean, sure, I've been through a lot and it must be tough for him to make sure he never triggers any bad memories. Whatever it was, I was only now realising what a strain I was causing to the relationship between him and his mother.

I jumped off the lowest branch with a soft thud. I had parked my car a few houses away, thank God. Or else Brianna would have noticed it and known I was around. I ran a hand through my hair, trying to figure out what to do.

My head was beginning to hurt with all this drama. The pain was mainly above my eye, the last thing I needed right now was a migraine. I sighed and drove to the closest 7-11 shop and bought a bottle of painkillers and water. Then just because I was feeling shitty, I bought a bar of chocolate to comfort me. I quickly swallowed two of the pills and dumped the rest on the passenger seat, along with my purse and water. The chocolate was already half gone. Yes, I was one of those people who indugled in unhealthy things when I was upset.

I crumpled up the now empty wrapper and threw it out the window, missing the trashcan next to the shop by a little. Sighing, I leaned back on my seat and drummed my fingers on the steering wheel. In that moment, something just snapped in me.

I had to get out of here. Maybe I was just on a sugar-rush from all that chocolate but all I knew is that I had to leave this place. Right now.

So I drove. I was barely even aware of where I was going. I know that sounds dangerous, but it wasn't like I was not in control of the car. I just wasn't sure where my mind was leading me. Driving was like a relief, I felt like I was leaving all my problems behind.

It was almost an hour later that I brought my car to a halt. I found myself on a very familiar street, one that I had spent my entire childhood in. My hands shook slightly at the sight of my old house. I was here. I was home.

Taking a deep breath, I stepped out and walked towards the house. It was just how I remembered it. It was a one story house, pale blue coloured with big windows. We also had a small garden in front of it. Pixie, my dog, used to play there all the time.

It was night time so I couldn't see all the details but I didn't need to see, I could recognise this place any time. I looked cautiously around the streets to make sure no one was here and sure enough the neighbourhood was quiet. There were only 3 other houses on this street besides ours and only one had a car in their driveway, so the chances of anyone finding me here were slim.

I walked towards my house. It wasn't mine any more. But no one lived here as far as I could tell. I pretended it was just a normal day. I skipped to the porch like I normally would and turned the knob. Of course, it was locked. Then I rang the bell, which is also something I used to do. No one answered, so I bent down and looked under the welcome mat, sometimes my parents used to leave a spare key when they knew I would come home while they weren't around.

There was no key.

There was no mom and dad. This was not even my house anymore. Then why did I come here? In my worst times, I didn't go to Joe and Claire, or Ethan and Brianna, or even Hannah and Hailey. The only thing I could do was come home, to mom and dad.

But they're not even here.

I let out a frustrated scream, tugging at my hair. Trying to get rid of all these memories which were invading my mind, like a tsunami crashing down on me.

This was supposed to be over, I had gotten better, and Ethan had helped me. And I was supposed to be happy. And normal. If I was feeling shitty before, now I just felt pathetic. Everything was a little fuzzy, maybe because of the painkiller, or because of this pain in my head or the tears in my eyes which were rolling out uncontrollably.

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