thirty eight

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T R O Y E

We stood like that for a couple more minutes, until I felt a light tap on my shoulder. I lifted my head and tensed up, wrapping my arms just a little bit tighter around my pretty boy. I felt the need to protect him from whoever it was that was tapping on my shoulder.

When I turned my head to face said person, however, a bright smile formed on my face. "Zoe!" I squealed. I wanted to give her a hug, but as my arms were still protectively around Con, I didn't before he assured me that I could let go now.

She was one of the people I knew who was smaller than me, and it somehow always made me happy to hug someone smaller than me. You could fully embrace them and you could rest your chin on their heads if you wanted and they could lay their head on you shoulder and just– I loved hugging people smaller than me.

Hugging taller people, like Alfie, also made me happy. There was something about being able to bury yourself in someone taller than you that made me feel safe; that made me feel content.

And then of course, there was hugging people who were about the same height as you- like Connor. It was practical- I could connect my lips with his in an instant, not having to bend down or stand on my tiptoes to reach them. And I think, being entirely honest, that that was maybe even better than hugging small or tall people. Hugging someone you loved and wanted to kiss and have them be about your height. It was just so safe. So easy.

I loved hugging people.

Hugging was so comforting. It was something that loads of people spent way too little time doing, and I was happy I wasn't one of those people. I basically hugged everyone, everywhere, and at any given time. Hugging also was good for you, it made you happier in general. I read somewhere that it's because it releases some hormones that make you happy or stuff- but I didn't remember it exactly.

When I had greeted both Zoe and Alfie, they turned to Connor. Zoe gave him a hug, whereas Alfie just shook his hand.

"So, you're the lovely Connor this boy hasn't been shutting up about for so long?" Zoe asked with a giggle. I almost would've slapped her for that comment. I had talked about other things in the group chats than Connor. Not much, but I had. I had, for example, also talked about music and school and how I wished it was VidCon already so I could see everyone because now I couldn't go on random spontaneous trips to see friends. But I hadn't talked about much else than that and, realising that indeed most of my messages were about Connor or Connor and me, my cheeks went hot red.

"Err yeah, that would be me," he answered, and I couldn't help but be in awe with the way he stood there. Slightly awkward, not really knowing what to do. He was rubbing the back of his neck, his cheeks rosy and his stance a tad alert. He didn't dare meet anyone's eyes, just looking around. He was pretty, to say the least.

"Okay, well, we should like go, before people start really noticing us. Alfie and I've been stopped for picture's and hugs at least twelve times before getting here, so come on!" Zoe then said with a huge smile on her face. I shrugged, and walked towards mine and Connor's luggage, before proceeding to link my pinky with his and walking out of the airport behind Zoe and Alfie. 

-

When we arrived at Zoe's apartment, Connor and I immediately dropped our suitcases in the guest-room she had 'given' to us for our stay. I wanted to lie down on the bed and fall asleep in an instant. I had slept on the plane plenty, but I also had spend a lot of time watching Connor sleep- and yes, I realised that might sound a bit creepy, but I couldn't help it. When he was sleeping all his (already soft) features softened. His mouth was slightly open, and his hair was just a big mess. It still was, if I was being honest. Mine probably was too, though. So whereas he was quite awake, I was hit with jetlag and wanted to sleep for a couple more hours. But I couldn't and I shouldn't. 

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