Chapter Fourteen: I Can't Control It

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Rex had no idea what he was going to do. Something was telling him to go and kill Ahsoka. But..he couldn't kill his Jedi. He wasn't disloyal. He was a good boy. She was the reason why he hadn't been destroyed all those years ago. She had saved Echo's life when most would have left him to die. He was a bad boy, Rex just knew it. A good job wouldn't have voices telling him to kill his General.

The evil voices started talking again, telling him to kill General Tano. She had tortured his vod'ikas and left them to die, the voices said. She had thrown his brothers away on useless battles. She was as bad as Krell and he had hurt his brothers so badly that they would be forever scarred. Ahsoka hadn't raped them, but she had hurt his brothers. Had made them less than human. Krell had been able to get away with sexually abusing Slick and Dogma. The only bad thing that happened to him was Dogma finally killing him.

And Dogma had been sent to clone jail and likely destroyed for killing the man who raped him. It just wasn't fair.

"Rex'ika?" A pitiful voice asked.

Rex jerked his head up. He didn't mind being called "Little Rex" by his big brother. Echo had always been there for him. He could put up with a little teasing. "Yes? What's wrong, vod?"

"Why do I want to kill the Jedi?" Echo whimpered. Ahsoka had saved Echo's life and she was a Jedi. Rex crawled into Echo's bunk, cuddling the older ARC. Echo was still bedridden and would be considered a cripple for the rest of his life. Going back to the GAR would kill him. The hollow points had left massive holes in him. Ahsoka had saved his life, yes, but she had stopped the holes from gushing blood everywhere. Massive hazel eyes met Rex and the older clone felt like they were cadets again. "Why do I feel this way?"

"I don't know," Rex softly replied. He pulled Echo into an embrace, trying to help the older clone. The ARC gave him a terrified look. "I'm going crazy. We're all going crazy. When the Jedi are dead, what will happen to us?"

Every clone knew that the Jedi at least tried to keep clones out of the slave pens.

"I don't know," Rex softly said. "But Ahsoka never hurt our brothers. She tried to save them."

"I don't want to go to Nar Shadda," Echo whimpered. The clone now had a weak heart, Ahsoka thought, and that was unlikely to ever heal. He wouldn't last a week if they made him a pleasure slave. The training alone would kill him.

"She won't take us to Nar Shadda," Rex promised. He knew Ahsoka. She had saved a clone most would have dumped on the fertilizer barge. "She saved your life. No one will ever hurt us again, Echo. We just have to remember that."

"I'm going mad," Echo whispered again. He pushed his head into Rex's hands and cuddled close. Rex rubbed through his hair and Echo arched into the touch. His eyes, thought, were haunted and dead. It was as if he was going mad. Maybe they all were. Rex was a defect. Not his outsides, but his insides. If he was going mad, then he was a bad soldier.

"I think we're all mad," Rex softly replied. He cuddled into his big brother, wondering if he would ever be the same.

Echo said nothing for a few minutes. Then..."If we're mad, why does she keep us? If we're mad, that makes us bad. And bad clones don't deserve to live because they're defects." Defects deserved to die. That was all they were good for, being on the fertilizer barge.

"Rex?" Ahoka called. The two clones clung to each other and Rex wondered if they could keep it together. "I've felt something disturbing in the Force. Are you okay?"

"We're going mad," Echo whimpered. He looked up at the young Togruta. "Are you going to airlock us?"

"Why would I do that?" Ahspka asked. She sat beside them on the bed and Echo cuddled into her. Ahsoka held him close. The Jedi weren't used to touching, though, and Echo was close to losing it. "Why would I ever do that to you? You're my friend. I'm not evil like that."

"Because I'm going mad," Echo replied. He looked up at her with tears in his eyes. "And mad clones deserve to be killed."

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