Chapter 80 - Epilogue

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I lay in complete darkness for what felt like an entire lifetime.

Not because my eyes were shut – I didn’t even know if they were open or closed. I just couldn’t see anything. There was a feeling of complete body paralysis and I couldn’t move. I didn’t know where I was to move.

There were only two things of which I was absolutely certain. I wasn’t dead. I couldn’t possibly be. There was an excruciating throb emanating from my entire body that, in places, stung more at a time.

There was a general heaviness to the numbness of my body. I didn’t think that I’d be able to lift an arm, even if I wanted to. I couldn’t move. I didn’t know how to move.

No matter how many times I tried to move my arms or legs, or even make a noise, I couldn’t. I tried to listen for something, anything, but I could only hear my own thoughts inside my head.

The second thing, of which I was sure, was that I was not alone. I could feel someone’s presence, someone familiar. Thinking back to the last thing I could remember, it probably wasn’t my mother.

I grew impatient, I didn’t know where I was, but I was sick of being there. I tried to wake up, I tried to look around, but I couldn’t see anything. As I tried to move my body, the darkness that had completely enclosed me seemed to be getting lighter – but only ever so slightly.

It was a fuzzing grey, and the blurriness of everything around me seemed to with each static movement, get slightly lighter. The atmosphere almost appeared to have a tangible presence to itself as particles moved around me in waves of light. You couldn’t notice it straight away, but after a little while you could see the difference.

As the surroundings became lighter, so did my other sense return ever so slightly. In the distant background, all I could hear was a rhythmic beep that continued on a loop, changing for a second ever so slightly.

My heartbeat.

The heaviness began to lift from my body, and I became more comfortable. I even grew aware of the fact that I could move my fingers and squeeze them. Although, that reasoning came with the fact that there was something for which my fingers could hold and squeeze.

The lighter it became, the louder the beeping got, and the lighter I felt. Fairly soon, it felt as though I was lying in a bed, and that whatever numbness that had taken over my body was gone. Whatever force had made me feel so heavy and unmovable was gone as I could feel my eyelids beginning to twitch.

As they twitched and flickered, they began to open and a crack of light was let into my eyes – although, not being used to the light, I squinted which made my eyes close even more.

I felt the hand that I was holding squeeze tighter around me as it began to shake slightly. The hand was a larger size than mine, and I soon recognised who it was.

That fact alone made me want to open my eyes. I never thought I’d see the day when Matt would actually come back to me. Not after the pregnancy thing.

I forced myself to open my eyes properly, only to find that I was in actual fact in hospital. The room was white and pristine, and a simple vase of flowers was perched daintily on the ledge of the window.

It was raining, still, and I immediately looked up to Matt.

He seemed exhausted.

There was an ambiguous look on his face, and I couldn’t decide how he actually felt. It was almost neutral as though he didn’t know himself.

His hand squeezed tighter as his facial muscles began to move.

His dimples began to show as his face moved into a gentle yet unsure smile as he looked down at me. His eyes began to glow brighter and their colour seemed to return as we stared at each other.

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