Chapter 1 - The Smell of Spatial Anomalies

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The Smell of Spatial Anomalies 

Good smell good smell good smell good smell BEEF beans rice CHEESE tomatoes lettuce taco shells hot sauce! <wag wag> Pet me! Pet me! Drop something! Oh, drop something! No, not the lettuce! Drop the beef! 

Human Lili says, Blah blah blah favorite blah blah food blah blah crew blah blah war blah blah fun. 

Chef comes in and says, Blah blah blah Porthos blah out! He chases me out and I am in the hall by myself. 

I love Lili. Lili always has food. Lili’s nice to me. Chef doesn’t like me in the galley. I’m not so sure how I feel about Chef, but he usually smells good. 


Chef William Slocum’s assistant, Lili O’Day, stood in the galley, chopping vegetables and shredding cheese and then lettuce for that evening’s meal. Captain Archer’s beagle, Porthos, sat nearby, expectantly hoping for a morsel or two to drop. 

She said, “You’re such a good little helper! My absolute favorite! As you can see, tonight we’re having Mexican food. I think it’ll be good for the crew. We’re in the middle of a war. At least I’d like us to have a little fun. I don’t think it’s inappropriate; do you?” 

Chef Slocum came in. He was a big, burly man. “We can’t have him in here! You know it’s a Health Code violation! Go on, Porthos! Get out!” 

A little miffed, he shooed the small quadruped out and got the door closed quickly. “Lili,” he said wearily, “I know you’re new and you don’t really know anybody yet. But rules are rules. He really shouldn’t be in here.” 

“I know,” she allowed. “I’m just; I’m already sick and tired of bad times. It’s only been maybe four months for me. But for the others, huh, I bet everyone else is, too, and you’ve all been at it a lot longer than I have. He’s, uh, he’s a comforting presence, yanno?” 

“Yeah, I suppose so. Look, let’s just get this done and, uh, I dunno. Call someone, or something. Just, do something for yourself tonight.” 

She looked up. “Shoot! Porthos is out there in the hallway on his own. I’ll, um, I’ll make sure he’s not in any trouble and get him back to the captain’s quarters. I’ll do extra clean up, or something, to make up the time.” 

“Lili, it’s all right. You don’t have to make up hours,” Will smiled at her a bit, “that’s what Preston Jennings is for.” 

“My predecessor?” she chuckled a little. “Don’t bother him on account of little ol’ me, or anything.” 

She adjusted her pink hair tie and then departed, and he stared at the ceiling for a second, in supplication. “She’s a decent assistant and a damned fine baker. But sometimes, eh, I dunno.” 


Good smell good smell good smell good smell Private Todd was here with Dave Constantine. They don’t know it yet, but they like each other. Shelby Pike is new – she saw Dan Chang here and she got angry at him because he made her feel uncomfortable. Josh Rosen threw a ball for me over there, lots and lots of times! That was fun! We should do that again! 

Oh, Lili! There’s Lili! I love Lili!


Lili came over, “How ya doin’ there, my little puppy boyfriend?” She bent down and petted him and then straightened up, cracking her back as she did so. She sighed, “I gotta say, right now, you’re my only boyfriend.” The dog licked her hand. “You’re definitely the only one who kisses me on the NX-01. Let’s get you back to the captain’s quarters, okay?” 

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