The Purpose of Miss Shepley

Chapter One

Blood! Blood! Blood, Brothers!
We'll have flame, and ruin, and blood!
For we've been burned,
We've been wracked,
Our hearts rent from our breasts!
We're betrayed, and we'll have traitor's blood!

(song, The Narrows)

.:.

Few people are privileged to know the exact dimensions of their value to the world. Most are left to stumble along it in the dark places of their lives, to grope round the edges of it and guess at its nature. Unluckily, this knowledge was but one of the privileges I was born to. My value to the world, my purpose on this earth, was made clear to me from the cradle. I have come to know it well, and I have come to tolerate it, too, though for many years I did my best to refuse it.

My fight began in earnest on my sixteenth birthday. Mrs. Burke roused me with her usual abruptness, clapping her hands and crying, "Come now, child, no more lazing about! Time to get you ready for the ball."

There had been a ball for my birthday every year for as many years as I could remember, and I had dreaded them for at least as long.

I hid my face in the pillow and growled, "Are you daft?"

Mrs. Burke yanked the pillow from my fingers and threw the bed linens aside, leaving me to shiver and blink angrily at the world. It was very early in the morning -- candles still burned in the sconces, and weak light, barely brighter than moonlight, snuck in round the curtains.

"You are daft!" I cried. "The sun's not even up yet!"

She paid my indignance no heed, which was usual for her. She tsked and shook her graying head, her narrow face pinching in on itself. "Ach, naughty girl..." she said, plucking at a lock of my hair. "Taken your cap off again. Come on, now. Up with you. It'll take us an hour at least just to set this mop in place."

She threw my dressing gown round my shoulders and nudged cold slippers toward my feet.

Prudence, my favorite of the housemaids, curtsied her way in, carrying a large silver tray. She kept her eyes low, no doubt fearing my temper -- perhaps rightfully. She murmured, "Breakfast, Miss," and curtsied her way out again as quickly as she could.

Miss Ward swished in before I had finished eating, bubbling enough for the both of us. She helped Mrs. Burke lay out my underpinnings, squealing, "Today...! The ball's today! Aren't you excited, Miss Shepley? Ooh, these are so beautiful..." She was not much older than I was, and she was the sort of girl who envied girls like me.

A train of housemaids poured in soon after, with pails and the big copper tub. They set up the bath and filled it with practiced efficiency. Prudence appeared again and cleared the dishes while I was still chewing the last of my toast, and then, like the tide rushing back to sea, they all streamed out again - all except Mrs. Burke and Miss Ward, of course, who would cling to my side like barnacles for many long hours yet.

Hands -- I know not whose -- coaxed me up and stripped off my dressing gown. I stood naked in my slippers, grimacing down at the tub.

"Ugh. Why's the water all milky...?"

Mrs. Burke snorted. "Because there's milk in it, child." She offered me her hand, to steady me.

I frowned. "Why on earth..."

"It's good for the skin," she snapped, losing patience. "Now get in quick or it'll be a cold bath you're in for." She swatted my rump for good measure.

I settled into the tub reluctantly. Miss Ward scrubbed at my back while Mrs. Burke fussed over a hand.