FULL LOCKDOWN (Book #1)

𝕿𝖜𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖞

I dropped into school with half of the day already gone by just to see that one person.

"Ditch school and come to the movies with me, Ella."

"Wow, a bit presumptuous of you if you ask me, Dean," Ella reacts. "And I can't. I've got strict parents. I have to attend every class like my life depends on it. Also, if my dad finds out about you... He'll blow the roof off the house."

"Then let him."

"How about no? Lol."

"Then we'll be careful," I persevere. "We'll get our names marked off and then we'll sneak out. Bray and I do it all the time. The teachers hardly ever notice, trust me."

"Yeah, I know," she scoffs. "I notice you doing it."

I pause.

"Ugh..." she sorta contemplates.

"I know we don't know each other very well but let's try to. Something could happen to me tomorrow. I could get hit by a car, who knows."

She rolls her eyes, "I'm sure nothing of the sort will happen to you, Dean, rest assured."

How can you speak to someone that you've just met, but in another life, you've known each other for what seems like a lifetime? How can you pretend you're not in love when every atom in your body tells you otherwise? How can you pretend you're not seeing technicolour in a pitch-black sky?

"Sometimes I feel like I'm here, but at the same time, I am not..."

Ella looks at me weirdly.

I gulp, "must be 'cause Mr Burrows talks and talks and never shuts the hell up. Maybe that's why I'm always dozing off?"

She contains her smile.

I continue, "and I'm just like-"

"Dean," Ella intercepts, "shut up."

"No, really," I chuckle. "He always has his sausage fingers pointing to one person or another. 'Youth is wasted on the young' or 'history is written by victors,'" I mock the many quotes Mr Burrows constantly mentions. "Who even said that? Lenin?"

"Ahem!" someone orders from behind me.

Ella cringes. I spin around. Oh shit... I glance at Ella who has her hand over her mouth.

"Mr Burrows..." I lose all confidence. "H-how's it going, Sir?"

"I don't know, Zinedine," he mumbles, mixing his coffee with a teaspoon. "You tell me."

"Ermm... Good, I guess?"

Mr Burrows stares at me, squinting like he's trying to find my soul through my eyes.

"Actually, you know what, Mr Burrows? I was just asking Ella over here what you use for your moustache because I'm thinking of growing one myself."

"Oh, this?" he blushes, twirling one of the curls with his index finger.

The compliment seemed to have worked.

"Just some any old wax does the job," he giggles like a schoolgirl. "Anywho! Lunch break's almost over. You two better get going to class soon." He begins waddling off, "oh and Dean," he stops for a sec, "it was Churchill. Winston Churchill said that."

I run a hand through my hair, "Jesus..."

Ella giggles, "you should so see your face right now."

I scoff, sorta embarrassed.

"You practically just made my day," she smiles.

"So, the movies? Red velvet cupcakes? Movies and cupcakes, pretty?"

"'Red velvet cupcakes'?" she knits her eyebrows together.

"They're my favourite," I shrug. "Besides, if we get caught, I'll take the blame."

❖

We're at the movies now after dogging down some deliciously soft red velvet cupcakes from Monlight's Diner. As the lights dim, something shines in my peripheral vision. It's Ella's necklace. The necklace. The one that got her killed. I shift around uncomfortably in my seat, some sort of hatred brewing in me for that silver locket around her neck.

"Who gave you that?"

Ella follows my line of site. "This?" she lifts her hand to the locket.

"Yeah, I've never seen you without it."

"Really?" she questions. "That's funny, I also have it hidden under my shirt. Surprised you spotted it. Anyway, it's my brother's. Belongs to him."

Her brother, the one who passed away in a car accident. I remember her telling me that. She didn't use past tense though... She probably doesn't trust me enough with that sort of sensitive information yet. That's unfair. We can't get so close in the apocalyptic world to just be nothing in this world. I'm in pieces but I have to make peace with my thoughts. She meant too much to me and she needs to know that. Or I could just shut up and watch the movie? Let her fall in love with me again at her own pace...

"I love you too," I whisper, staring at the screen. "I never said it back."

"Excuse me?" Ella almost chokes on her drink.

"I lost you in my other life..." I can't stop the words from spilling out. I don't see the film playing anymore. I see the cityscape, the rain, the pain. "You fell from my hands... And the scary thing is that you must be a lurker now. The thing that I hate the most."

"A what? Dean, I...I have no idea what you're talking about," and she shifts away from me, almost as if she's scared.

"It was my fault... All of it! I shoulda waited for you to get across before me...instead of..blaming Jace..."

"Dean," Ella stands up in fear, "I reckon I should go.."

I stand up too, "listen-"

"No, I should really get going, I'll see you at school," she forces a smile.

"Ella," out of desperation, I clutch her wrist, "listen, I-"

"Let go, Dean."

"Ella!"

"Dean! Stop!"

"El-"

"Dean, I said-"

"Elody!"

She pauses.

"You're name's Elody," I breathe out calmly. "Your brother died in a car crash not too long ago. Your favourite colour is green...no," I try to recollect my thoughts, my throat going dry, "it's emerald green. You enjoy sunsets and you hate bananas. You really want to open up your own Pâtisserie someday in Monte Carlo. And you love.." I lift my finger to the corner of her lips, wiping away some remnants of, "..red velvet cupcakes," I sigh like a deflated balloon.

She's frozen. She says nothing but her eyes say it all. They're wide open, stone cold like she saw a ghost. Hopefully, she believes me now, that there's another world out there where she was mine, and now she could be mine again. Before she could answer, the theatre blacks out, and I, with it.

❖

I wake up back at Monty's. I see him. He's kneeling on one knee with Amber standing by his side and the rest behind them.

"Hey, Son, long time no see."