neils pov
I lay here in my bed, just thinking of the times before Maxie died. I cant stop thinking about her. I cant stop watching her suicide note video, and all of her other videos. I watch them just to see her alive. just to hear her voice again. and I don't know if its doing me any good. I miss her. I wont deny it. I miss her. all of these things happen in life and I don't know if they are good or bad.
it was good that I meet max. it was bad that she left. she died. I will never see her again.
I debate whether or not I want to join her early, but I know I have a purpose for me living. I need to live my life, but also live Max's life. and her death is a weight pressed onto my shoulders. me trying to live two lives at the same time is crushing me from the inside out. I need max here. I need someone to fill her place. but no one could replace her.
I cant get up everyday with out knowing that I somehow caused her to take her life. I cant live with myself knowing that she was so unhappy. I could've saved her. I needed to save her. and when she needed me the most, I wasn't there for her. I need her here now. and I know im being selfish. but I need her. I need to hear her voice, I need to hear her laugh, see her smile. I need to see her one more time. but I know that this is impossible.
shes gone and shes never coming back.
I could've 'effing saved her. I could have saved her. but I was to self centered to think about her. why am I so stupid. I saw that she was so unhappy but I didn't stop it. I couldn't stop it.
shes gone.
and its all my fault.
YOU ARE READING
Gone Forever: a three days grace fan fic: book three
Fanfictionbook three to misery a three days grace fan fic after maxie kills herself, both adam and neils starts getting depressed. Matt realizes that he was part of the reason that she killed herself, and rock bands from shindedown to my chemical romance star...
