"If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger."
― ,
She continues to sob holding onto him even as his tears stop, but his recessed tears do not imply that he is over his grief, rather his mind is now so overtaken with the memory of what happened mere moments ago, that nothing else matters to him.
The fear and sheer terror that his touch invoked within her, the scream she let out at the fright that coursed through her body is now forever etched into the recesses of his mind.
He has never ever seen her terrified, this woman who singlehandedly stood against hooligans trying to save the life of a pregnant woman and her unborn child. This woman he jokingly refers to as Jhansi ki Rani because of her sheer strength has been scared out of her wits.
It angers him to no end, as he thinks of the reason for her reaction. It makes him hold onto her even tighter, as if by the force of his grip he can change the events that happened erase any mark they left behind.
He continues to placate her as if she were a child, running his hand over her back, patting her head and quietly shushing her. She quiets after a while but does not let go off him and he basks in the comfort of holding her, finally having her in his arms.
How he has missed her, he cannot surmise into words, all he knows is these days have been the hardest and the loneliest of his life.
It is when she is finally calm enough, collected enough to gather her wits that she realizes where she is and more importantly, whom she is with at all. In an instant, her demeanor changes as she breaks free from his hold and looks at him with anger, so much anger that it would be enough to perish him if it could.
"What are you doing here?" her voice is composed but there is no mistaking the fury in it.
Any other day and he would have not taken this lying down but today, today he would gladly let her lash out at him, if it means she can let go off her pain, a pain he couldn't stop when it inflicted itself upon her. A pain he knows she does not deserve, no woman does.
"I came to meet you, talk to you." He replies calmly.
"Talk with me? Meet me, Raman Bhalla; you come now, to do this. After all this time, after three whole days you wake up and realize your wife could possibly be awaiting you? You wake up to the fact that you owe her something, anything."
"Ishita listen to me, please." He pleads with her.
"Listen to you? Why should I listen to you? Do you even realize the hell I have lived through? So many days, this.... this awful, awful thing continued to happen with me and I could not understand what to do. I try to get you to understand that I do not want to go shopping with Parmeet and yet you sent him with me. He tries to molest me in our bedroom Raman, in our bedroom and when I complain to your sister and mother, they say my mind is filled with filth. That I am trying to create problems in your family, our family; do you really take me to be such a woman Raman? I called you up so many times that day when you were in Mumbai but could not say all those things over a phone, not when you were busy with your work. I thought once you would be back I would talk to you, make it be known how Parmeet has been harassing me and when I finally do that, when I raise my voice against the foul way your brother in law treated me, I get thrown out? Your sister slaps me and you continue to be a mute spectator. My parents take me back and yet you do not say a word and now you say you are here to talk. What can you possibly say now when you did not say a word that day when I wanted you to, when I hoped you would? When you should have reacted Raman; done something anything; said something."
He lets her say it all, get it out. It's the only thing he can do for her now.
After a few moments she continues, her voice choking, her eyes still red rimmed as they continue to look at him in a way, which only emphasizes her disappointment in him even more.
"I did not expect you to abandon me like this Raman, so completely. I could have taken your anger, your taunts, even your accusations but your silence has hurt me so much more do you know that? You made me hope at least you would understand me, listen to me but you did nothing of the sort. You just stood there. You let everyone insult me and did nothing.
I knew you to be harsh Raman; I know you can be cold and bitter. I never knew you could be indifferent. As if nothing mattered to you, nothing bothered you.
So tell me, are you here to finish what started that day?
Are you here to berate me; Are you over here to degrade me, my character? Do you think I tried to seduce Parmeet as well, as your family does? "
"No Ishita, I know you would never do that. I know that without the shot of a doubt."
It is his matter of fact reply, which calms her anger. She still is not in the mood to forgive him or forget his actions the day when she was robbed of her dignity and he stood silent.
"Then why couldn't you have said something, anything that day Raman, why did you stay quiet? Answer me." She finally pleads with him.
"Because I had no other alternative, because I could not understand what to do. I was caught between my wife and my family, how could I have picked one over the other just like that?"
"So you chose to stand by your family, fine.... All right I get that, I do. What I do not get is ... how it can take a man three days to walk up to his wife, someone who is next door to say that he knew she is innocent. Why did it take so much time for you to do so Raman? Why?"
"Because I couldn't find the courage to face you after the way my family behaved with you. Because I did not know how to set things straight again, because I was lost Ishita and because there was nothing I could do or say by the time that could have comforted you at all. "
"Raman... anything said by you could have been better than this silence do you even know that? I could have at least known where you stand... known what is on your mind. To think for the last three days that my husband may think I am a woman who could so such a cheap thing, do you have any idea what it is like. I wanted to believe that you believe my innocence but picked your family over me still. Have you any idea of the pain you put me? I was unable to understand whether my husband trusts me at all. I was going out of my mind here Raman. I thought you know me Raman, at least enough to know that I would never do such a thing, even if this may have been a compromise, I married you Raman... and I would never cheat on you. Never humiliate my parents, the way they raised me like this. Never hurt you like this. Never ever betray you or our marriage in such a manner."
"Ishita..." He can make no reply to her statements, cannot answer her questions.
"Why are you here today Raman, clearly you have no answers even now."
"Because I wanted to talk to you, I missed you Ishita."
