The cure (BTS +Got7)

The Pain

We lay together in silence, our shallow breathing the only thing breaking the darkness. He sighed softly as he relaxed against the soft worn mattress. With others this closeness would feel awkward, I would expect a conversation and the silence would be overwhelming, but with Yoongi everything felt right. The silence was comforting and his shoulder against mine seemed to spread warmth through my otherwise cold body.

"You asked why" suga whispered referring back to my questioning of his previous decision to take the drug. "You see I wasn't like you or Jhope, no I was merely curious. I was always looking for a rush and when that Jackson dude promised me everything I took it. Of course he expected me to stay by his side and fight for him, protect him but I didn't. Instead I stole what I could get my hands and sought refuge under Namjoon's wing." Another bitter laugh escaped his throat as he thought about his past.

"Don't lie to me" I mumbled as I turned to face the troubled man. Suga's expression changed as memories flooded into his mind. He was troubled and the his past seemed to bring pain with the torrents of mistakes. He shook his head roughly clearing the incoming memories as he began to rebuild his past.

"You see I was born without a home, my mother never knew my father for he was just another client of her's. When I was conceived I became an inconvenience to her and her 'work', but no matter how much she tried to hate me she always failed. My mother was full of love and she never failed to show it. About a year after I was born she vanished leaving me in the care of a young couple that resided on the rough streets of this beautiful city. They were dreamers, they believed in change but they never worked for it. They believed that everything was going to be okay, even if everything was a lie" he laughed once again, a laugh that held no joy, no emotion.

"They raised me to be a survivor, to steal what I needed and fight for what I love. Once again they left me and I was alone, I had nothing to live for, nothing to protect. I was useless, pointless" his voice became lighter and his eyelids seemed to grow in weight as small transparent tears dripped from his saddened eyes.

"You see I never knew what family was, I never understood what love was or what purpose it played in ones survival. I was promised these answers when I met Jackson on that street, he told me that this drug gave the user happiness, love... It was a lie. The itch has never given me joy, only guilt. Every time I puncture my skin and inject that filth into my blood I realize my failure", he sighed heavily and sat up, his back against the mahogany headrest.

"I had always had love... I was just to stupid to realize it, to blind to see it." He looked down at me as a tear ran down his cheek. "we all have our reasons, some better than others" his voice was a gentle whisper that seemed to spread through my tattered body. He was right, we have our reasons.

"Hey Suga the boss wants to see you!" Yelled Taehyung from the hallway his voice rough but soulful. Suga smiled slightly, it was barely a twitch of his lips but it was the first time he actually smiled. The door was closed carefully behind him as he left me alone, alone with my thoughts, my memories and my pain.

The IV bag hung over me like a cage, a reminder of my helplessness. It was my only source of nutrition since I started the trails. My body was unable to digest even the simplest of carbohydrates or proteins. I had become a shell, most of my body was desperately trying to stay alive, fighting against the poison I allowed to be administered to me. I was beyond repair, or at least past the point of no return.

Sleep was impossible as I turned over again sending a new wave of pain through my tired muscles. I sighed deeply as I pulled the covers over my head and curled into a ball. My stomach was cramping again and a dull throb had begun to form behind my eyes. The pain only grew and due to Jin's concern about the combination of different drugs, I was refused any kind of pain medication. I moaned out loud unheard by the other occupants of this house as I began to cry.

"Why do I bother?" I whispered through the tears, but after the words left my lips my mind was bombarded with memories. Memories of Mark's smile, his boyish laugh, his life.

Of course, I now understood what Suga had meant when he said that he had always had love. He meant that although something is lost, out of sight, out of this world it doesn't mean the love leaves with it. The love of others always resides within your memories, your mind. The moments I shared with those I loved, the memories I made fuelled the love that resides between us. The pain seemed to fade slightly as Mark consumed my conscious thoughts .

"Well it looks like she has finally fallen asleep" Jin whispered as he walked into the room silently. His voice was smooth but once again consumed by a cocktail of concern and guilt. He knew the pain that I was under but he also knew the importance of persisting . A heavy sigh escaped his lips as he took my arm in his strong yet gentle grip. The sharp pinch that left yet another puncture mark on my flesh felt almost refreshing. As the contents of the syringe were emptied my body relaxed the pain consumed by the wave of euphoria that crashed through my frail body.

"I'm sorry" Jin whispered his lips barely touching my ear, "but Namjoon has another medicine he believes will work". He sighed softly, his breath sending chills down my spine. He was losing faith, and with every new trial he was falling further into the depths of hopelessness.