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Saturday
Dear Diary, or Journal, or whatever... I know I haven't wrote in this book in a long time. I feel like I'm disowning it or something. It's totally not a good thing that I haven't been writing in the journal because that means that I've kept my feeling to myself and one day they're just going to build up and up until I kill someone. Nah, I would never kill someone but you get point.
Now to ask myself a well wondered question... Why did I kiss Dillon Taylor? This question will haunt me till the day I die. Part of me thinks I did it because it was in the moment, he was straddling me and comforting me and he just looked so kissable and he was so warm and.... stop this Cait.
And then the other half thinks I did it because I was being dumb, I just wasn't thinking, my mind basically forced me to. But that's so far fetched. Of course I wanted to kiss him because he was being nice to me.
But what about the no-boy rule? Ugh. My life is basically in shambles. The only reason I'm babysitting tomorrow is because I have no money.
And hopefully nothing awkward happens. He'll just stay in his room and I'll stay in the living room with Michelle. Everything will surely be a-okay if that happens... right?

***
Sunday

"Thank you so much for coming! I know its a Sunday and all but we just really have to make it to this lunch with Greg's boss." Mrs. Danielle rambled as she held my arm in a friendly grasp.

"It's no problem! I wasn't doing anything today anyway!" I smiled.

"Well, Michelle is in her room right now, she knows you were on your way, and theres food in the fridge help yourself. Oh! And Dillon is in his room... He won't be a bother. Be safe, goodbye!" She and Mr. Greg waved as she closed the door in a hurried manner.

I sighed and started walking up the stairs to Michelle's room. Her door was open and she was on her bed, with a magazine in her hand.

"Hey." I smiled warmly, catching her attention.

"Cait! I haven't seen you in so long!" She jumped up and ran up to me. She wrapped her arms tightly around my torso.

"I've missed you too!" I chuckled as I hugged her back.

"Wow, I see you've gotten highlights in your hair." I looked in awe at her pretty brown hair that now had some blonde streaks in it.

"Thank you!" She gushed. "Dillon also said he liked it too!"

My body froze at his name. For a moment I forgot he lived in this house because I was so engrossed in the conversation.

"That's good!" I said through gritted teeth, but happened to care enough to add a fake smile.

Cait, you are not going to have a panic attack every time you hear his name or see him! He doesn't faze you!

"So... what are you doing?" I asked as I saw her walk back to her bed.

"Reading Seventeen." She said, her eyes glued to a magazine.

"Huh?" I asked shocked.

"I'm reading a magazine. All the girls read it at school!" She smiled at me.

I sat on the edge of the bed with her.

Wow. Not too long ago this 12 year old girl was telling me how girls at her school said she was too old for barbies, and now here she is, reading a teenage magazine.

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