OXYGEN

5 - Concrete Heart

I suppose - since I didn't exactly say no - I was giving in. God knows why I didn't just turn around and dive back into the lake. Maybe it was the way he looked at me, the way he was even asking for a chance at all. Maybe this was God's funny way of proving me wrong, showing that I could be "saved" after all. Well, I was going to go along with it apparently. Only because I was certain that it wouldn't work out anyway. Sooner or later, he would see that I wasn't someone who could be helped so easily. Most of the time, you couldn't fix what was damaged - I was no exception.

"How did you even know I was there?" I muttered as the both of us walked into the woods. We moved further and further away from the lake, the place where my body was supposed to be in, 100% shut down, right about now. My stomach churned just thinking about it.

"I didn't," Forrest simply replied. Several minutes earlier, I had learned his name and that he had been in a couple of my classes before - Human Anatomy and Physiology as well as Geometry, he said. I was surprised that I didn't quite notice him in the past, but then again, he never gave me a reason to. That or I was just too engrossed in my own world. I'd like to think that it wasn't the latter.

"So what? You just hang out at the lake, five in the morning?" I hadn't intended for my voice to come off as so condescending.

He narrowed his eyes. "I needed somewhere to think, all right? I couldn't find any other place quiet and . . . calming. And I was only planning on staying for, like, less than ten minutes," he huffed and then pointed out, "Besides, it's not like I was the only one there."

"Oh, whatever," I murmured, holding myself. It was still uncomfortably cold, but now, the sun was beginning to emerge from the cluster of dull, ragged clouds. I was grateful for the light.

Forrest sucked in a breath and exhaled noisily. I wondered what he was thinking about. Surely, he must have been regretting coming to the lake now. If only he didn't, then he wouldn't be entangled in my mess and . . . I would be free from it all already.

I didn't realize that I was completely staring at him until he faced me. "What?" he questioned sharply.

I rapidly shifted my gaze. "Nothing," I said, just as curt. At that moment, a shiver racked my body. I told myself it was because of the breeze and because of the fact that I just got out of freezing water. But deep down, I knew it had something to do with the way he was paying so much attention to me. It felt like he could somehow see past my flesh.

Even though he was in the same physical state as I was in, I think Forrest pitied me because his tone softened. "Come on," he grunted, "I have a hoodie in the car."

The offering was undoubtedly kind. And then the rest of his words sunk in. Car? I guess he didn't live nearby, which was why I merely walked instead.

Soon enough, we made it to his beige, worn-down Toyota Corolla. He unlocked the doors and grabbed a hold of a huge hoodie. It was coincidentally my favorite color - maroon.

"Here." He tossed it to me. Caught off guard, I nearly dropped it. "It's all I have."

Eyeing it, I thumbed the cotton fabric and then looked at him, puzzled. "What about you?"

"I'm fine." I doubted that. "Don't worry about it."

"All right then," I mumbled and after a second, I added, "Thanks." And I meant it. I felt a bit guilty since he was just as cold as I was. As I put it on, warmth stretched through my pale, damp skin along with my concrete heart. I clearly was not used to polite gestures.

I thought we were going to wait more until we entirely dried off to enter his car, but Forrest proved me wrong by saying, "Okay, get in."

"What?" I furrowed my brows. "But . . . we're wet."

His eyes widened in what I realized was mock-surprise. "Really? I never noticed."

I scowled at him and grumbled, "I don't appreciate your sarcasm, you know that?"

"Whatever - just get in." With that being said, he placed himself onto the driver's seat and before closing his door, he stared at me, impatience running through his features. "Well?"

"Oh, fine," I rejoined. I made my way over, settling in beside him. "But don't get mad that your seats are ruined."

He sighed. "It's just water, June. It can do this thing called evaporating. Besides, what matters now is getting out of here. We need to thaw out - don't you think?"

"Yeah, I guess." His reaction left me a little dumbfounded, but I brushed it off.

With that being said, he started the engine, which roared to life. I didn't bother questioning where we were going. It was up to him because I didn't quite care. But if I had to make a guess: Well, he was probably going to dump me at the local clinic, reporting that I was suicidal and at risk 24/7. But he'll have no proof, and I'll be able to walk out, ready to find another way to die. I played the scene out in my head, pressing my lips together. Let's get this over with.

The vehicle humming, Forrest left one hand on the steering wheel with the other on the radio dials. I soundlessly observed him as he struggled with finding a station with good-enough music. Finally, he selected one playing a rock song. It wasn't familiar to me, but it had a cool beat.

As Forrest was driving, I turned my gaze to the world beyond my window. It was a medley of smeared colors, flitting by so swiftly that I barely had a chance to drink in the view. The only things I could make out were dancing, weathered trees and a pretty, painted sky with red, orange, and purple tints. The sun peeked out of the clouds and a ray stroked my face. I breathed out, momentarily hazing up the glass. The whole thing somewhat made me feel distorted.

"Hey." At the sound of Forrest's voice, I reluctantly turned to him. "Well, I've been thinking about it, and I've decided that I won't be bringing you to a hospital or anything." I lifted my brows, slightly intrigued. "I mean, I just don't think it's absolutely necessary." I nearly snorted. If a suicide attempt wasn't enough to initiate a trip to a doctor, I wondered what was. "The worst thing you'll get from this is probably a cold. You weren't in the water for too long to have any severe consequences so I think you'll be fine without a check-up."

"Oh," I uttered, not really knowing what else to say, "Sure, I guess. Whatever. If you say so."

Forrest stayed quiet after that and I was actually tempted to ask where we were going then. But since he didn't decide to tell me already, I made myself wait. We'd get there eventually.

I went back to looking out of the window. Another song was playing now - much softer and more soothing; it was enough to make me yawn. It was two songs later when the car ride finally ended. To be truthful, the drive could have gone on for hours and I don't think I would have minded. It was a time when I was able to pretend like nothing was wrong, a time when I didn't have to deal with problems. I could just sit and stare, going down a route that was already paved all the way.

Taking a glance at where we were now, disbelief rushed through me. "A café?" I asked, almost laughingly. "You took us to a café?" I didn't have anything against cafés; it just wasn't the first place I thought of going to in a situation like this.

He didn't spare me a glimpse. Instead, he shut off the ignition while muttering, "Not just any café." I wondered what he meant by that.

I examined the unadorned sign, which had a - humble yet loud - black font.

VIENNA CAFÉ