A/N: Yet again, a triple update in one night because I love you guys and I love writing :) Enjoy!
A lot can happen in two months. It is sixty days after all. That's 1,461 hours. So like I said, a lot can happen in two months.
However, very little can happen in two months as well. Which is the case for me. The past two months have been hell, but a continual hell. I have the days down to a routine: get up, get dressed, go to work with Bee at the library, force myself to eat something for dinner, sketch, go to sleep. And then I wake up and do it all again. All the while, thinking about a certain brown eyed boy that probably hates me now.
I eventually moved in with Bee, since I had an actual job at the library now and could contribute to rent. We were closer than ever, and I was so thankful for her, but I couldn't let her know just how miserable I was. And boy was I miserable.
I thought about him every second.
What was he doing? Who is he with? Is he still working for his dad? Is he dating?
And all it would take is a simple phone call to find out the answers to all these things, but I couldn't make myself do it. I couldn't take the risk of rejection from him again, it would destroy me.
Bill, Tanya, and Anthony had come to visit me about a month ago though. Anthony was doing much better, he was on antidepressants and going to therapy regularly. He even told me he had a girlfriend now named Claire, who was really patient and attentive to him. The look on his face when he spoke about her warmed my heart.
Bill and Tanya were kind enough to not bring up Liam at all, but I could tell they wanted to. Which just added more questions about him to my ever growing list.
Harry and I see each other on occasion, and our friendship is actually okay these days. He's finally accepted that I can't be with him, that I'm too self sustaining. He's actually dating now, and not just sleeping around with sleezy girls he meets in bars. It's still awkward between us, but manageable.
The only really bright spot in this mess of two months has been my little brother Shawn. A week after mine and Bee's trip to Kingsville, he managed to stand up on his own for eight seconds when he was at physical therapy. He's been getting stronger every day, and now he can walk on crutches for short amounts of time. He's not back to running around on the football pitch, but at least now he has the hope that he'll eventually get there.
Oh and of course I can't leave out Bee's relationship status. After we got back, it was almost sickening how much she and Zayn were texting each other, and talking on the phone, and skyping. They hit it off really well, and Bee never hesitated to put Zayn in his place when he got out of hand, which is exactly what he needs. She's gone to see him in Kingsville twice so far, and he's come up to London three times. They aren't official, but they will be soon enough I'm sure.
Basically, everyone around me is happy and dandy except me. I am just barely making it through each day without a mental breakdown. Anytime a guy so much as looks at me all I can think about is that I wish it was Liam. I miss him, I want him, and it wasn't until I lost him that I realized I need him.
So as Bee and I get home from work, her retreating to her bedroom to skype with Zayn, I stand in front of the mirror in the bathroom, staring at my reflection. I don't even look the same; I'm thinner, my face gaunt, and my hair has grown longer. The length is an in between of who I was when I was 17 and ignorantly happy, and who I was in Kingsville. I think it's metaphorically appropriate.
But my eyes are what strike me the most. They're dull, faded, lifeless. And I know that there is only one person that could bring the light back in them.