So this is how it feels like to die.

I hate to burst whoevers bubble but it's not as painful as they make it out to be.

My eyelids are heavy, I can't move, and I have a weird sensation in my chest, almost as if I can't breathe, but thats ridiculous right...? since I am breathing...right?

This is confusing. Why don't I just go to heaven or wherever you go after you die?

Am I dead?

I can here faint beeps from a distance...beep...beep...beep. Its actually the only sound I can here. Where am I? Am I in some sort of dream or something...?

All of a sudden I'm awake. But not awake awake , just awake. I could see myself, walking in darkness, almost as if I was looking at myself through some one else's eyes.

As I keep walking to nowhere, the beeps get fainter, and fainter, until I almost think that they are a fragment of my imagination.

Now that the annoying beeping sound has stopped, I can hear someone calling my name, also from a distance. Just like the beeps it keeps getting fainter as I walk on. I try going back where I started walking from, but which way is back?

I'm in total darkness, maybe I am dead after all. This is just some mystery. I stop for second, as I think I can recognize the voice, which is getting louder.

"Aqua...Aqua...!" but I can't recognize it. I can't think of anything right now. Maybe if I concentrate, I'll be able to answer back and get found. This place is starting to give me the creeps. Whatever this place is...

I try shouting back, but I can't found m voice. My mouth is open, but nothing is coming out...

For a minute I stand in a trance as pointless memories from my childhood flash before me.

What did that mean?

Is this it?

I think I have to make a decision. Whether I live or not is up to me. It's my choice. I'm literally holding my life in my hands.

....What is right...what is easy...that dumb Harry Potter quote is stuck in my head.

Ok, obviously choosing death would be easiest, wouldn't it? I want to die...right?

If choosing death is easy, does that mean that choosing to live would be right? What if I don't want to live? And is it the right decision for me?

What if life is the easy decision? I mean I know tons of people who would give their arms just to come back to life. Most people actually love their lives...most people actually want to come back to earth to be with their loved ones...

But I don't have loved ones, do I?

Trish.

Blake.

Adam.

Who else is there? No one. I'm sure they would eventually get over me...right?

There was a voice in the back of my head which I was trying to ignore. But I couldn't

Jake. The name was there plain out and clear. I love Jake. And even though he doesn't feel the same way, seeing him always makes me happy.

But do I want to come back to a life where I'm not happy? Or move on to an afterlife where there is a chance that I could be happy? Cause lets be honest for a second here, my life is crap. Simple as that.

I sit in this darkness and think about my life.

Go on, or continue on to an afterlife or whatever...I think I know what to do.

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