I widow's despair - poem

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A widow's despair

I smell your scent

I feel your presence

And to my very essence

I wish it were all real.

Tell me, how should I survive if you're not here?

I remember it all so clearly,

In my memory, more fresh than I wish it were,

When you held me in your arms so tenderly,

So many words you whispered to my ear.

I wish, I scream, I pray

I tumble, I fall and I cry,

But furthermore I always say:

"Why did you leave me here this day?"

No kiss, no letter, no goodbye,

What wouldn't I give for a small, stolen moment?

Is there anything left for me to do but die?

Am I supposed to survive here?

You left without one word, one comment

I'm still waiting for the day it'll become easier

I pray every single day,

For you to let me join you in your numbness

I can almost feel you kiss my tears away,

Taking away all the madness

I refuse to believe that you are gone,

That everything in life is over.

There's no happiness in being alone,

There's no way to keep my mind sober.

I'm greedy for more than memories,

Though that's the only thing I have left.

Memories and old wrinkled pictures

Carefully drawn in my head

I'm drowning in a pool of despair,

Sorrow as black as midnight sky,

Life keeps going by and by

But I can't bring myself to care.

All I have are the yellowing keys of your old piano

And the sweet memories of the songs you used to play.

I'm still waiting for the day

When in your arms my soul will cradle.

In a tender meeting of broken hearts,

Where nothing will ever meddle

Into the love of both of us

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