(18+) Don't Leave|Killing Stalking AU

-4-

        Locking the door behind me I panted. I was suffocating underneath my own horrid flashbacks. There wasn't sufficient air filling my lungs, it quickened. Turning to the smudged mirror, I glimpsed at the breathing mess I was. Sweats started to form, starting at my forehead ending at my cheeks. My thin eyebrows arched complimenting the fear on my extended eyes. Guiding my fingers through my sweating slick hair, I conceived. These disturbing hallucinations lingered my mind as much as I avoided them. My brain kept substituting the lovely Sangwoo I love for a gory version of him. I knew, as well did I warn myself it wasn't him. For he wouldn't curse me out in such a vividly way. Nor would he ever cheat on me. I was always present when Sangwoo allured me with flowers and tender words saying I love you so much and don't you forget it. Those trustworthy words were all I needed to remember. I sighed in relief. I know my boyfriend would never lie to me. He's a reliable person who strengthens our relationships and clears away dirty lies of the world. I remembered how he would embrace me into his arms transferring his warmth to me. 

My heart ceased to pound so mercilessly. Instead, it continued the rhymic passive beat Sangwoo adored to listen to. I smiled. Retrieving these memories was a miracle worker. I began to smoothen out the roughness of my black hair. Placing back the stretched pieces of hair back into place. Then, I splashed water onto my face as a refreshment. Dabbing away the water droplets with a napkin I left the bathroom. 

Sitting back down I watched as Sangwoo strangled the calamari between his fork. He continued forking it until he got the perfect amount stuffing it down his throat. His hand reached for a napkin. "I was getting concerned about you for a second." Began he, pecking away the sauce of his mouth. I glimpsed down at my untouched glazed noodles. Grabbing a fork I started to wrap the noodles around it. "Really? How come?" I asked. "Well you ran away so fast from here it scared me. I was going to question you but this Stuffed Calamari is so good!" The blonde ate more of his food. Placing my fork down, I observed the way my lover ate his food. It was such in a hungry manner as if he hadn't eaten for years. Then his eyes caught mine. "Aren't you eating?" Asked he. My hands waved, shaking my head. "Nah, I kinda lost my appetite."

Sangwoo dropped his fork. He darted his eyes at me with furrowed eyebrows. "What do you mean you lost your appetite?" Sangwoo began to ask sternly. His palm was under his cheek and cocked his head. I flinched quickly noticing his change in tone. "I-I just don't want to eat." I stuttered between my sentence. "Do you think we come here every day? Huh?" His voice stronger and ferocious than before. The blonde Korean pointed at me. "Do you think I spend so much money for this piece of crap! I came here for you and now you won't even eat!" He bellowed so loudly that it echoed the restaurant, everyone turning their heads to us. The pounding beat of my heart mimicked my emotions. Scared, lost, and trembling. I blinked a few times, wondering if I was hallucinating again. Nope, my vision was the same. I swallowed the lump from my throat, averting my eyes to the ground for a second. I tried my best avoiding the staring eyes and the whisperings the others around us were making.

 "I-I'm s-sorry," I murmured. I felt a tear slip across my cheek. My pouting lips trembling. I was too much of a coward to cry in a public place like this. I didn't even dare to face my lover Oh Sangwoo. 

I felt the reassuring hand of his on my damp cheek. "Hey," The dirty blonde whispered calmly. "I'm sorry I screamed at you. I was stupid enough to do that." My eyes glanced at him. Sangwoo smiled, stroking my pale skin. Sure his eyes were nothing but a boring brown, but they were my boring brown eyes I adore staring at. They gleamed brighter than the moon. "We will take the food to go, no worries." I nodded. 

Arriving home was no problem for us. The house was still and dark. I placed the Fettuccine Alfredo into the refrigerator before going off to bed. My mind was exhausted from the whole hallucination process. I simply wanted to drift away from the whole mess I wrapped myself into. My eyes were as well on the edge to close. For I haven't slept since last night. Therefore, I swapped my fancy suit into my night clothes. The loose gray T-Shirt hung from my scrawny body and the tight shorts was a comfortable combination for tonight. I laid down at the futon Sangwoo and I shared. I pulled the blanket over my body. 

 My eyelids rested for a minute before feeling the embrace of somebody. I turned my body. My lover smiled on how he embrace me with his muscular arms. Sangwoo was wearing nothing on but his boxers. "Hi," He whispered. I left out a dry chuckle, hugging him back. My head rested on his broad shoulder as he began to speak to me so softly. "I'm sorry from earlier, baby." I shooked my head. "Don't worry." 

"But I don't want to make you cry again. It breaks me seeing you tear up like you did previously." The blonde Korean stated. 

Lifting my chin to him I said, "I'm not crying now so there's no reason to feel guilty." 

Sangwoo kissed my temple murmuring his love to me. It was sweet and tender. It turned quiet until I began to speak again. "Sangwoo," I asked. "Yes?" I bit my lip, uncertain to say next. It was just a thought which crept my mind, yet now I was too much of a coward to speak. "Umm, may you hold me. Hold me through the night." I stumbled over my words. "Why of course." His arms were more firmly around me. It felt like a shield, protecting me from those horrid nightmares. And that was just what I had wished to achieve, to stop those nightmares and hallucinations~