Chapter 25 - Under The Bridge (Red Hot Chili Peppers ; 1991)

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I'm not sure how long we were at the hospital before my father's doctor presented himself to us. All I knew was that I hadn't slept, instead served as a resting post for my mother who obviously needed to sleep. Brendon didn't sleep either, but kept my hand locked in his in a reassuring manner like anything could make me feel better about this.

"Visitors of George Ryan Ross the second," the doctor had announced as he entered the waiting room. I shook my mother awake gently and watched as she rubbed her tired eyes and I helped her to her feet. Once in front of the doctor he shook all of our hands before introducing himself. "My name is Joseph Trohman, I'm Mr. Ross' primary doctor. It says here that he's suffered a heart attack that was induced by stress?"

My mom nodded beside me and Doctor Trohman continued telling us what was going on with my dad. "It shows here that Mr. Ross has his fair share of health problems," he started softly. "He's currently going through kidney failure, lung failure and heart failure due to numerous factors such as drinking, smoking and high levels of stress."

It pained me to hear all of this about my father, but I knew, for the most part, that all of these health problems would've occurred at some point. I just didn't think it would be so soon.

"So," my mom said as she rubbed her arms gently, "does this mean he has to stay in the hospital?"

"We want to make your husband's remaining weeks as comfortable as possible," Doctor Trohman said as he looked at my mom with sympathetic eyes. "He can go home whenever he wants to, but, I must tell you now; according to his conditions, he doesn't have very much long left."

My eyes began to water along with my mother's and Brendon's, and my mother was the one who spoke up. "How much longer does he have?"

Doctor Trohman looked through the window to my father's room and sighed heavily before turning back to us, shaking his head.

"I'm afraid he's only got a month at the most."

* *~~~* *

My mother had decided to stay at the hospital with my father, insisting that Brendon and I go to the house and get some rest. I was too tired to argue with her, and that's how I found myself seated in the passenger seat of my mother's car as Brendon drove us to the house. I was tired and emotionally drained, but I couldn't find it in me to even nap the twenty minute drive from the hospital to the house.

Once we arrived and were inside, we trudged up to my room and Brendon closed the door behind us. I stood in the center of my bedroom, looking at the clean floors and the made bed and everything just looked too perfect for how I was feeling at the moment. I could feel myself clenching and unclenching my fists and, before I could stop myself, I was launching myself at my dresser and throwing everything that sat on top of it to the floor. My books, my awards, my high school diploma, everything was in the floor in a matter of seconds but that wasn't enough to satisfy me. I picked up the framed diploma at hurled it at my mirror, shattering the glass and sending the shards flying everywhere. I'm sure a few hit my arms but I couldn't be bothered to pay attention to it.

I continued my rampage of destroying my room before I found there was nothing left. The mirror was nonexistent, my bed was in shambles, my dresser drawers were thrown to the floor and both of my bedside desks were knocked completely over. I was panting and breathing heavily before I slowly turned to Brendon, who was sitting on the floor with his knees pulled to his chin as he silently cried while watching me destroy everything. I let out a pained sighed before I dropped to the floor in front of Brendon, letting my hands rub his arms soothingly. He let out a choked sob before he launched himself forward, wrapping his arms around my neck tightly. I wrapped my arms around his back and we just began crying uncontrollably into each other's shoulders.

"I d-don't want to l-lose my d-dad, Brendon," I sobbed into his neck, feeling his grip on me tighten slightly.

"I know, baby," he whispered into my ear as he rubbed my back gently.

I couldn't be bothered to worry about the fact the I just absolutely destroyed my entire room, and that Brendon and I were just sitting in the middle of this disaster. After a couple hours, we decided that we should actually go get some sleep. I led Brendon down the hall to the guest room, and closed the door behind us as we entered the bleak room. The bed was completely made and the room was neat, unlike the one I had just ruined, so the atmosphere was a little bit calmer. Brendon and I discarded our jeans and t-shirts, leaving us in only our boxers as we fell onto the mattress, pulling the blankets over us as we held onto each other.

After a few minutes of silence, I spoke up. "I-I'm sorry you h-had to s-see that," I mumbled softly.

Brendon shook his head before turning up to face me. "Don't ever apologize for how you're feeling," he whispered as he pressed soft kisses to my jaw line. "I'll help you through whatever you need, okay? I'm here for you, and I always will be."

I nodded softly and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead as I pulled him closer to me. "I love you, Bren," I whispered softly as I ran my hands up and down his bare back.

"I love you, too, Ryan," he whispered back to me. "I promise I'm not going anywhere."

And, fuck, I hope he meant that.

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