Interfaces

Indestructible Blocks of Cheese

Following the red track lights I was led through a poorly lit series of cavernous corridors; I tried counting the number of turns I made and gave up once the number reached thirty. 

"Where are you leading me!?" I hollered, voice echoing down the numerous passages. 

NO WHERE IN PARTICULAR.

I stopped the moment I heard the voice which came from an intercom system set up intermittently throughout the halls, an eerie layering effect building on the sound until I shuddered from its demonic quality. With less enthusiasm than a pumpkin pie on the floor, I kept walking, what-if situations popping into my head for my trouble.  

SING FOR mE. 

"I'm sorry?" My eye twitched as I looked up at the nearest speaker. Did it want me to serenade it? 

SERENADE ME. 

Apparently, the answer to that question was yes. "What do you want me to sing?" I grudgingly obliged. There was no way I could find my way back to the room on my own or out of this crazy labyrinth lit with red track lights; keeping the status quo was the only way I was getting out- where ever here was- alive.

START after STARS SHiiniNG BRIGHT ABOVE YOU. 

It was an awful singer, but I knew the song.

"Night breezes seem to whisper I love you," I sang as I turned yet another corner which opened into a hallway that looked exactly like the one I'd just been in. "Birds singing in the sycamore trees-"

DREAM A LITTLE DREAM OF ME.

Rolling my eyes, I turned again. "Say nighty-night and kiss m-" 

SMACK. 

Another bloody wall had run up to kiss me and I stumbled backwards onto my ass rubbing my nose. Grumbling, I looked around. This particular hallway was much shorter than the rest and had only one exit: back the way I had come. 

"Why does this place seem to want only to inj-"

SING. 

"NO!" I hollered into the vast maze as I got up and brushed myself off. 

FINE. 

The red track lights turned yellow and led away from the isolated corridor just like the sound of my stomach growling raced away from where I stood. How attractive. Ignoring my stomach, I shuffled after the running yellow track lights, the voice hollowly singing about a bunch of coconuts in the background. 

YOU KNOW, I AM NOT THE BLUE HOLOGRAM YOU WERE GETTING CHUMMY WITH IN YOUR ROOM. 

"What?" The coconut songs was still being sung with the voice talking over it. Great. Either it knew how to record things- which meant it had a file of me beating myself with walls- or there were two of them. I couldn't decide which was worse. 

THE HOLOGRAM PROGRAM IS A SEPARATE ENTITY. 

"If you say so," I muttered. 

I DO. 

"Do you also say where the kitchen is?" I said in a high pitched whiny voice. 

I DO. 

That sounded like a helpful answer, maybe I could trick it into giving me another. "I bet you don't know where it is," I snarled. 

OF COURSE I DO. 

If a computer program could attempt to sing, then it wasn't too far a stretch of the imagination to hear a bit of haughtiness in it's voice pattern.