Connie had been away from the department on a conference all week and it had given her plenty of time to think. Her mind had been scattered before she left, spending the weekend with Greg yet she found herself thinking of someone else. They hadn't spoken since the argument on the ward and she was unable to think of how to approach him.
Arriving in the department that morning she walked straight to her office keeping her head down. Elliot was already sat in the office with a smile as she came inside. "Connie, it's good to have you back again. How was it?" "Oh you know, long days and endless boredom." He smiled as she removed her coat, hanging it up before sitting behind her desk.
Leaning back in her chair she closed her eyes for a second. "Long night?" Lifting her eyes back to him she smiled briefly. "Restless more like." "Something bothering you?" Sitting forwards she remained quiet, opening her mouth to speak but finding nothing came out. Deciding better than to pour everything out, she nodded briefly. "Nothing. I guess the travelling just took it out of me more than I expected."
Elliot didn't believe a word she said but nodded allowing her to begin working. After half an hour, he glanced over at her seeing that she hadn't gone any further with her work. Standing up he walked across the room, Connie still focusing on the desk before her aimlessly. She didn't flinch as he sat in front of her, looking up at her as she seemed a million miles away.
"Connie?" Her attention snapped up seeing him sitting before her causing her to frown quickly. "Wh-" "What's going on, and don't say nothing this time." Keeping her eyes on him for a moment longer she bit her tongue glancing away from him. "I can't-" "Connie..." He sat forwards on the edge of his seat causing her eyes to fall back to him. "You know, it doesn't matter what you tell me."
He stood up nodding towards the door causing her to stand up and reach for her coat. Walking from the department beside him, they bought a coffee each before stepping out into the frosty air. The wind blew around them as they walked towards the bench underneath the shelter. As soon as they had sat down Connie focused on the wall across the road while speaking. "I slept with Sam."
Elliot remained quiet watching her as she shifted uncomfortably. "And I'm assuming this wasn't a one off?" He watched as she seemed to struggle for words, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. Placing a hand to her thigh gently she dropped her eyes to it as a stray tear fell down her cheek. Shaking her head she sniffed before looking up in an attempt to stop the tears from falling.
"I can't tell Greg, I don't want to lose him... But I can't stop this from happening either and I can't understand why. Greg, he gives me everything and I'm happy when I'm around him. He makes me want a future and gives me something I never thought I'd have... Yet I still find myself thinking about Sam. He makes me feel wanted, special. Nothing else feels the same as when I'm with him. I feel safe in his arms and I really think that he could be the right one."
Stopping herself she thought carefully of the words floating around her head. "I know I love Greg, but I'm starting to think a part of me has fallen for a relationship that can't happen right now..." She closed her eyes sighing before forcing herself to say the words aloud. "I think I love him too." Lifting her eyes to Elliot once more she no longer hid the fear or confusion from her voice. "Does that make me a bad person?"
Elliot shook his head moving a hand to brush over her cheek gently. "I think it makes you human Connie. Not all of us are lucky enough to ignore the feelings we have for someone else, and sometimes it's a good thing that we don't. You might just realise what it is you really want." She shrugged loosely looking down at the coffee cup heating her hands. "But I don't know what that is..."
He nodded as they fell quiet for a moment focusing on the warm liquid that was keeping them warm outside. "Maybe it's time you worked that out then." Shaking her head she looked back towards the hospital where people were slowly moving about their day. "It's too late. Sam and I, we argued the other week and it sounded pretty final to me." "Have you told him how you feel?"
She smirked looking down to her lap. "How could I? So I think I love you but I'm not willing to end my relationship for you, yeah I can see that going down a treat." Elliot rolled his eyes at her sarcasm, watching as she had another drink. "Talk to him. I'll cover you on the department. Just, talk Connie... I think he needs to know."
Returning inside, she wandered past the office having seen Sam sat in one of the small offices earlier that day. The door was open as she stepped into the doorway cautiously, her heels slowing and it hadn't gone unnoticed by Sam. Looking in at him, she watched how he avoided looking to her. "Do you think we could talk?"
Her voice sounded small and somewhat broken, something he found he was unable to ignore. Looking up at her he watched as she stepped inside shutting the door. She sat on the chair beside his, the space between them seeing like too much but not enough. Connie rest her hands in her lap as she wandered what she had really come here to say.
"Has something happened with Greg?" She forced her eyes shut hearing the concern behind his words. Despite everything he still cared. "I've been thinking, about everything. About you, about Greg, about this whole mess." "So have I." Her eyes lifted instantly to him as he sat forwards on his char reaching for her hands.
Connie watched him, his thumb caressing over the back of her hand. "I don't want to have to pretend I don't feel something for you... Whatever I had with Emma, it isn't enough anymore." "But I can't give you what you want." He smiled briefly with a small shake of his head. "I guess it's a good thing that I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get you."
Pulling her hands from his she stood up looking away from him. "Connie-" "I love him Sam, and yes, I feel something for you too but I won't leave him for you." Facing him Sam crossed the room to be before her. "Then walk away from this. Go now and don't turn back." He watched her fighting with the options she had. "I can't..."
Without another word Sam pressed his lips to hers, his hand placed to her cheek as she responded to him with ease. With each kiss the part of her that was screaming to leave became quieter and quieter, until there was nothing. Breaking from her lips he lifted his other hand to push the hair that had fallen back behind her ear. "I wish I could do what you wanted me to, but I can't-" "We'll make it work."
She sighed gently as he pulled her into his arms gently. Sam wrapped his arms around her as he rest his chin on top of her head while she leant against his chest. "We need to be careful Sam otherwise people are going to get hurt." He ran a hand up and down her back as he pressed a kiss to her hair. "I know... I know."