Who's Your Daddy?

Chapter 7

 Michael awoke the next morning and realized he wasn't home. This was clear as soon as he opened his eyes and saw the wall across from him—hospital white and bare except for a framed poster of a red Ferrari. Directly in front of the wall was a black metal chair with a thick blue jacket hanging on the back of it. At its base were two black lace-up boots. Michael knew, in that instant, whose house this was and whose arm was lightly curled around him. Both belonged to Bruce.

Michael closed his eyes again and hazily pieced together the events that had gotten him here. He'd been about to leave the Mirror Ball when he sent Bruce the text "911." It was a code they'd come up with early in their friendship. When they first met at the Mirror Ball, Michael was in one of those periods when he didn't know where Chase was or how to contact him. Bruce, at the time, was between boy toys. Michael and Bruce bonded mostly over their mutual appreciation for twinks. But there was also a Paula Abdul/MC Skat Kat opposites-attract vibe between them; the artsy photographer guy meets the butch cop. They hooked up a few times right off the bat, and while the sex was enjoyable, it was never quite right. Bruce insisted on being the top, and Michael was a rather begrudging bottom. Neither had much stamina for cocksucking, and Bruce was grossed out by rimming—one of Michael's favorite things to do and have done to him.

Michael and Bruce knew that the sex could be better if they practiced at it. But neither wanted to do the work it would take for them to become sexually compatible. They also weren't really sure if a romantic relationship was what they really wanted with each other, anyway. Some of their most enjoyable times were at the Mirror Ball debating the relative hotness of other guys. Eventually Michael and Bruce chose to stop having sex in order to preserve something that, in the context of their lives, seemed more precious: friendship.

But they also had an understanding that if they ever needed each other in a sexual way, if in any given moment, one of them wanted a familiar touch and not the arms, dick or ass of a stranger, they could text "911." It seemed like the perfect plan. They were friends and "in case of emergency" fuck buddies.

This system's launch was a little rocky. Initially, Michael thought that Bruce was abusing the plan by using "911" every time some twink didn't immediately return a text. But this got sorted out after a few stern talks. Shortly thereafter, Michael started seeing Jimmy, and the arrangement was put on hold whenever one of them was dating someone exclusively. Last night marked the first time either one of them had used the code in more than a year. It felt nice.

As Michael lay under Bruce's thick, muscled arm, he wondered if maybe they should give the relationship thing another go. Would it be worth risking their friendship? Were things different enough for it to work now? Both of them still preferred twinks, but that attraction—or, as Sidney would put it, "crippling obsession"—didn't seem to be making either of them happy.

Michael couldn't seem to find a guy who wanted the same things he wanted. Most of the younger guys he talked to either wanted to avoid commitment altogether or jump straight to the wedding ceremony. Michael understood what drove these commitment crazies. There are so few certainties in your 20s that it felt calming to have at least one big life decision settled. But Michael was old enough to know that anything that felt like certainty was probably an illusion. He didn't want to toke on anyone else's pipe dream. The only relationship Michael could believe in was one that took things day-by-day.

The problem with his relationship with Jimmy was that Michael thought it was rushing things to move in together. Michael didn't want to live with anyone at this point. He had too much stuff to focus on. There were still too many things that he wanted to accomplish in life. He needed the space to be selfish and not have someone around all the time, wanting and needing things from him. He loved the time he spent with Jimmy, but he had also liked that Jimmy could go home.