It's been a week since I told Cole I loved him. It's so hard not to call him and say I'm sorry, but the look of hurt on his face is keeping from doing it. I've known I loved him for a while. I mean how could you not; he's so sweet and caring. But I messed up any chance with him.

"Derek, honey, are you ok?" my mom asked as she opened my door. I didn't feel like talking to her. I just lost my best friend, and it's all my fault.


She closed the door and left me alone with my thoughts again. Why couldn't I have just kept my mouth shut. I ruined my whole friendship with Cole.

God I'm stupid.


"I'm gonna kick his ass Cole!" I yelled over the phone. I was fuming since he told me about Derek.

"Baby don't please, just let it go." he pleaded.

"Cole how can I just let that go! Another guy just told you he loves you." I whispered the last part.

"Cole is it ok if I come over? I just want to see you."

"Yeah baby it's fine." With that he hung up the phone.

I grabbed my shoes and my keys and headed downstairs. I don't know why but this whole thing with Derek has made me extremely jealous. Derek is Coles best friend and now he knows that Derek's in love with him. I'm scared hell pick Derek over me.

I pulled into Coles driveway like 15 minutes later. I just needed him to be with me. I'm feeling incredibly insecure about all this. I love Cole and I don't want him to realize he loves Derek more than me. I honestly don't know what I'd do if he chose to be with Derek over me.

"Pearson! hey baby!" Cole came running out of his house. He jumped up and I caught him.

"Hey babe. I missed you." I said kissing the top of his head. I set him down and he grabbed my hand. We walked inside and I slipped my shoes off.

"Oh hey Pearson it's nice to see you again sweetie." Mrs. Murrel said. She hugged me as she passed by on her way to the kitchen.

Cole grabbed my hand and pulled me upstairs. As soon as his door closed behind me, he pushed me onto his bed. His green eyes were starting to get darker. Damn I've never seen him look like that and it was sexy as hell. I swallowed as he started climbing on his bed leaning over me. He smiled before he leaned down and kissed me.

"Babe what are you doing?" I asked when he pulled back.

"I missed you Pearson." was all he said before his lips were back on mine.

I tensed when I felt his hand slip under my shirt. Wait just a minute! I am definitely not the bottom in the relationship. I grabbed Coles hips and flipped us over. There we go, that's more like it. Our lips reconnected and it was the best feeling I've ever felt. What started out as a soft kiss turned into something way more than that.

"Are you sure about this Cole?" I asked.

He just nodded in response. His eyes still darkened with lust.

I slipped my hands under his shirt and threw it off of him. His skin looked so soft and inviting. I leaned down and kissed his cheek and traced my finger over his lips. Wow, this is the boy I love. He looks like an angel right now.

Cole scared me when he slipped my shirt off too. I guess I was just lost in my own world admiring him.

"I love you Cole." I whispered in his ear. It felt really good to finally let him know that. He didn't say anything.

"You don't have to sa....

"I love you too Pearson." he said as he kissed me with the most emotion I've ever felt. I licked his bottom lip and he gladly let me in. I felt him r.each for the button on my jeans and I stopped. Oh god I've never done this before! what if I'm not good?

"Pearson it's ok, I've never done this either."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. He finished unbuttoning my pants and I slid out of them. I've never been this exposed to someone I've had feelings for in my life. I did the same with his pants and before I knew it we were both just in our underwear.

Oh god! oh god! oh god!

Cole leaned up and kissed my neck. I moaned as he worked his mouth on my skin. He rolled us over and leaned down to my neck again. I ran my hands down his back as he kissed my collar bone and back up my neck. Then he reached for my underwear waistband. My whole body stiffened.

Do I let him take them off?

Too late, he slipped them off before I could say anything. Is it just me or is it cold in here? he kissed my chest and my whole body shivered. I could feel a very excited Cole pressed against my leg. I've never been this scared in my life. I swallowed and gasped when he kissed my stomach.

"Wait Cole not yet." I gasped when I felt him getting lower.

He nodded and came back up to kiss my lips again. I ran my hands down his back while we kissed. I grabbed his waistband and quickly slid them off of him too. Now we were both exposed to each other.

"Hey Cole, pear.... Oh lord I...i..I'm sorry to i..i..interrupt." Coles mom stood in the doorway gaping.

Cole grabbed the blankets and covered us," Mom! what are you doing?"

"Dinners ready baby. You and Pearson g..g..get dressed and come join us. She closed the door and left.

I just say there staring at the wall. OH.MY.GOSH.

Cole looked over smiling,"Baby calm down, she won't say anything to my dad."

"Cole that's not what I'm scared of. I'm so embarrassed right now it's unreal!" I whined.

He leaned over and kissed me.

"I love you Pearson."

"I love you too."


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