52. Not Alone

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It's been two weeks. It's almost March and Josh still isn't back in New York. The rest of the Matthews came back so that Riley could get back to school but Josh was still nowhere to be found. He hadn't even sent a text.

I'm sitting on my bed working on my math homework when I hear a knock on my window. I glance over in confusion, finding my boyfriend sitting behind it. I quickly open the window, letting him in.

"What are you doing here?"

"My sister is out of the hospital" he says happily.

"Great. You can go now" I reply snippily as I cross my arms over my chest.

"My mom crossed a line with what she said to you" he sighs as he ignores me, sitting on my bed. Well I guess I knew why he didn't call, his mom got to him.

"Point?" I ask snippily as I look up at him. "You haven't called or texted. I figured you agreed with her."

"I wasn't staying with them. I was staying at Eric's" he says seriously. "I definitely don't agree. I just wanted to be there for my sister. I didn't mean to shut you out."

"Well you did. Josh look at this from my perspective. You're glad I come with you, I almost lose my virginity to you, you finally let me in by telling me about that girl, and then your mother says awful things to me causing my dad to flip out and I get nothing for two weeks."

"Maya" he says softly, reaching for my hand but I pull it away quickly.

"No. Oh my god Josh. I can't do this anymore."

"Can't do what?"

"I can't keep feeling like I shouldn't love you" I shout, not caring if I wake up my parents. "God. Do you know how hard it is for me to love you? You are my best friend's uncle, you're three years older than me, and your parents hate me. I just" I trail off, tears falling down my face.

"Maya" he says as he takes my hand in his. "You are my niece's best friend, I'm three years older than you, and my parents hate you. Baby don't you get it? Everything that you're going through, I'm going through it too" he explains as he looks at me lovingly. "This is fucking hard. I hate how hard this is but I love you and I really don't want to lose you but I won't make you stay."

I look at him in awe. He was right. For two weeks I haven't stopped thinking about how hard all of this is for me but I wasn't alone. He was going through everything I was going through and instead of facing things together we shut one another out.

"I don't want to lose you either" I whisper as I chance a look up at him. "I love you."

"I love you too" he says sweetly as he leans down to kiss me. "I should probably go through before your parents catch me."

"Probably" I laugh lightly. "I missed you."

"I missed you too gorgeous. I'll text you when I get home."

"You better" I smile as he walks over to my window, climbing out quickly. I sit back on my bed feeling relieved for the first time in weeks. Josh and I were gonna be okay. I loved him way too much to give up. The long game may be hard but I knew it was worth it.

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