MATTIE

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America: So

America: So. Mattie.

Canada: *texting* hm?

America: You know, you don't have to hide the fact that you wanna join my country. I mean just, ha! Who wouldn't want to right? So you know. Whenever you're ready just gimme a call. I can talk to my boss and we can get y-

Canada: *still texting* Alfred get out of my house before I kick your ass all the way to China.

America: Okay then, you don't have to hide it from me. You just need time that's totally understandable-

Canada: Leave or I lock you in my basement with Ivan.

America: You just need time~! *leaves*

Canada: I'm gonna kill him one day. Eh.

America: MATTIE PLEASE LET ME STAY HERE!!!! *sobbing* I-I CANT DO THIS A-A-ANYM-MORE!!!! MATTIE PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR!!!!!

America: MATTIE PLEASE LET ME STAY HERE!!!! *sobbing* I-I CANT DO THIS A-A-ANYM-MORE!!!! MATTIE PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR!!!!!

Canada: *from inside his house* NO ALFRED. YOU HAVE TO LEARN AND ACCEPT YOUR FAILURES!!

America: *continuing to scream and sob out of fear*

America: MATTIE WHAT THE FUCK MAN!!! GET OUTTA HERE!!!

America: MATTIE WHAT THE FUCK MAN!!! GET OUTTA HERE!!!

Canada: But I like to chill here. It's warmer, I can enjoy your beaches which come with hot chicks and a tan. All of it. I'm just gonna live the American dream...... ahhh... so relaxing feeling the sun....

Mexico: Looks like I'm not your real problem then huh.

America: Stfu man or I'll build two fuckin' walls.

Canada: Like to see you try eh?

America: *walks away while screaming* IF CHINA CAN BUILD A GIANT WALL THAN SO CAN I!!! IM THE BEST ARENT I?!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! IM THE BEST THERE EVER WAS OR EVER WILL BE!!! JUST YOU GUYS WAIT!!!!!!! *more hysterical laughing*

Mexico: Hm. Do you think it's safe to have a crazy neighbor with a bunch of guns?

Canada: *waves hand* we'll be fine.

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