My dearest Butler

Chapter 27

"You what?!" Lu exclaims but I can't quite figure out whether he's being mad, angry or just surprised.

I look down and nervously play with my fingers.

He lets out a sigh. "Willingly?" He asks and I nod my head. In response he frowns at me. "I thought you didn't want to marry him.

I don't even look at him and just shrug.

"Well, congratulations." He mumbles.

"Thanks."

After no more words were exchanged for too long, I just turn around and leave.

I open my door and close it right behind me, not forgetting to lock it.

I let out a sigh as I turn around to head to my bed but stop in tracks as I see a small package lying on top of it.

Hesitating for a bit, I decide to just go and open it.

But before I do so, I just leave it in my hands, taking a closer look on it. It looks really beautiful, white wrapping paper with sparkling almost not visible symbols and a nice red bow to keep it all together.

I wonder who it is from... There is no sign whatsoever and I guess it's from Jack.

I place it back on my bed and open the package by pulling on each end of the red band, with a smile plastering my face.

But it fades away when I see what's inside.

A baby.

A dead baby.

My baby.

I let out a cry and tears shoot in my eyes. My legs seem to not work anymore and just let me drop to the ground.

"Why?" I whisper to myself while tears run down my cheeks. "Why?" I repeat a little louder this time.

I look down, not being able to look at her anymore and just cry.

I'm sorry...

I'm so sorry, my poor baby.

I start feeling sick, remembering what happened. My head starts spinning and I try to focus on the darkness inside of me, to calm down again.

I find myself not thinking about anything and not feeling anything when I suddenly realize where this led me to. I didn't even feel the vibrating sensations this time. I just float around in nothing else but nothing.

I feel my heart feeling warm again and happy, just like it did when I was very little and thought my mom loved me.

The nothingness fades away and reveals my hiding spot. My secret place only I know about and no one will ever find it because it is all just in my head.

I look to my left and see the endless green field and to my left, where the endless deep and dark forest is. I look to the front and see a single tree standing there with a woman, dressed in a lose, white dress, next to it.

The familiarity of that ancient Greek dress, her pale skin, black hair, dark eyes, the smile on her lips and her waving hand, make me smile myself.

Tears seem to build up and I run towards her and she opens her arms for me to come to her. She wraps her arms around me as tight as she can as soon as I walked into her.

She places one head on top of my head and I feel safe. I have to worry about nothing, I know that she will help me with whatever I need help with.

"I'm so happy to finally see you again." She whispers. "I haven't seen you in what feels like a century."

"I'm sorry." I whisper as I start sobbing again.

"What happened?"

"I'm sorry, I just didn't want to come, I thought I could handle everything myself now.

You were there for me since I was little, you were there when my mother was abusing me, when she sold me to some stranger, when I got kidnapped. You were there for me every time I felt like dying and made me feel better.

When John died I guess I just didn't want to. I wasn't even thinking about it because I couldn't. I should've but I didn't.

And even now, I didn't plan to come back, but I'm glad that I'm here.

I can't keep on anymore, I can't.

I need your help." With the last word finally leaving my lips, I start crying even more.

I hate asking for help. It makes me feel weak, it makes me feel sick. I used to be weak, I used to depend on her since no body else was there for me and I tried to live without her, accepting that no one will ever be completely there for me until the day I die, but I guess that was wrong.

"It's alright." She tells me, tightening her grip around me. "I'll always be there for you." She says and I slowly calm myself, listening to the beat of her heart.

She always was the mother I never had.

I shouldn't have tried to get away.

"Someone send me the body of my baby." I say with my voice void of any trace of emotions. "Before I turned into a vampire by killing myself after John was killed, I was pregnant. I was pregnant with our child and I planned to tell him that day. I used a spell to hide its heartbeat from his ears and I wanted to surprise him." I let out another sob as it all flashes through my mind again. "But then a wolf killed him and it all was too late. I didn't want to live anymore and jumped off a cliff. I didn't die since he secretly gave me his blood so instead I turned into a vampire while the baby died.

Another life that is gone just because of me.

It's all just because of me.

Always.

Isn't there a way for me to die?"
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Hey:3

I'm back again! Well I don't really have much time but I'm sitting around at school, not doing anything since my teacher is I'll so I figured I could just write another chapter for you :)

I hope you like it~

Love, hugs and kisses,

Yours Mel<3